A few years ago I was sitting in a Chinese Restaurant waiting for my take out order to be completed. As I waited, I sat gazing out the window at a building across the street. Much of the signage lay obscured behind trees however a small portion remained easily visible.
The viewable portion read 666 and it’s a number I see all too frequently for comfort.
What follows is honest confusion from a late 40’s male neutral on Heaven and hell, God and devil. I do not fully believe in either however feel it’s somehow dangerously naive to discount them.
I sometimes consider attending Church but like many adults dislike investing time or energy if it’s to be wasted.
Having said that I sometimes consider whether embracing God is beneficial to my life, maybe you can help?
Seeing the Signs
There are a number of things I’m thankful for in life. I have a wonderful daughter, good health, presence of mind, and close loved ones. I see the beauty in the world around me and in friendships made along the path of life.
That being said, are all the good things in life Signs of God and His divine presence or do they simply exist? If these are indeed Signs of God then why war, crime, hate, adultery, racism, abuse, and all other abhorrent aspects of society?
If these too are signs of Gods divine presence then why would I want to send Him my faith?
If I see no need for it why would I want to invest faith in it?
I also do not subscribe to a grand scheme or “God’s plan” ideology. To me this is the same as predestination which I think is patently ridiculous.
…but, for the sake of argument, let’s assume we’re all destined to run the course God lays out for us. Why pray then because it’s not doing you any good? Your path is already right in front of you and you have no choice but to follow it.
A better use of my time is taking my daughter out for breakfast rather than dragging her to Church. At least at IHOP I get to converse with her whereas at Church we’re sitting in silence listing to someone preach.
Is it clear as to why I remain confused over so many years? If it isn’t you can probably sum all of the above in a few words, I just don’t get it.
Is anyone watching?
As stated I’m on the fence about God, devil, Heaven and hell. The only power I have is attempt to do what’s right and make amends when I’ve wronged.
Oddly I never feel as if God is paying much attention.
I do however fear the guy downstairs may be watching and showing me signs now and then.
I realize this sounds ludicrous to the point it’s almost embarrassing to admit. Not doing so however would omit a core detail and as such is a requirement.
I can’t even speculate how many times I’ve seen the numbers 666 all grouped together.
Not to mention since my teens I’ve become acutely aware of street lights going out when I pass near them.
The street light phenomenon may not be related yet I’ve always had a feeling it was somehow ominous.
Lastly beginning in my 30’s and haunting me to this day is my incredible bad luck streak. It’s amazing how bad my luck has been and it’s become the norm. It’s become so common that it doesn’t even phase me anymore.
In my 30’s it would wind me up like a top.
Now it usually just makes me chuckle but it’s an “I give up” kind of exasperated laugh.
My luck has gotten so bad that even my daughter comments on it. I don’t ever recall bringing this topic to light which means she’s noticed all on her own.
I’m not moping around because my luck is out. I’m merely adding it as it’s become a near
constant in my life and given the subject matter may warrant inclusion.
Most of the Religious folk I’ve met over the years seem to share one common mind-numbing trait. This trait is deafness to anything misaligned with their core belief structure.
While I believe it’s great to have faith in something I do not feel it’s healthy to do so with such conviction no room exists for other ideas. I cannot understand how this mindset represents faith? To me it appears more like closed mindedness, tunnel vision or even worse, brainwashing.
One can argue this is simply my misjudging the situation.
I do wonder if I’m truly off the mark then why is Religion one of the most heated topics one can discuss? To date the only other topic I’ve seen heat up even close to Religion is Political opinion.
I’ve strayed from the mark a little bit but it was necessary for this article.
I’m just not the kind of person to jump into anything regardless of the conviction of others particularly when there is no tangible reason to do so.
Like everything else in this article though I’m sure there’s a counterpoint to everything I’ve mentioned which is where you come in.
Do you feel I’m completely off the mark and missing the point or can you see logic in what drives my indecision.
Please feel free to comment and thank you for reading!