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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004

    Update on my troubled teen

    The other day when Krystal was here spending the day with Erika, we had a chat. She's coming into quite a bit of money when she's 18. I recently found out that without my signature, she can't receive this money and will be held over until she reaches the age of 21. So guess what i'm not doing?

    I made Krystal aware of this and told her that she better get off her lazy butt and get herself to school because if she's waiting for that money in a year and half, she's waiting for nothing. I lied toher and told her that they'll hold it until she's 25. You should of seen her face! It was priceless! It was a reality check for her I think.

    The other day, she calls me (she calls me at least once a day) to tell me that she's made all these phone calls. She called the high school and was waiting for the principle to call her back, she called for parenting classes and counselling and anger management. I was a little shocked and still had my doubts wondering if she really did call all these places to make her arragements.

    Well, she's got an appointment to see the principle of the high school this morning so she'll be starting school, she's got a counselling appointment on wednesday (her 1st session) and she's on a short waiting list for the parenting classes which she'll be going at night time.

    She also told me that she does want to gain custody of erika and that she's making that her goal. I will be proud and happy if she reaches that goal. I'm still in doubt because Krystal never finsishes anything that she starts but I have the hope that she might.

    I didn't pressure her nor did i tell her to make these phone calls. She did that totally on her own. I don't do anything for her anymore. I don't drive her home when she does come over nor do i go and pick her up. she has to make her own way here and home again. So, she has no choice but to do things for herself. She's still at my brother in law's place. She's not going out too much, she's home most of the time now. But that could be because she has no money.

    All I can do now is wait and watch. I am happy however that she has made those phone calls and is starting those courses and counselling. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn't give up on those things. We'll see.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Florida, USA
    I think as Erika relates to Krystal more like a 'person' than a 'baby.....Krystal will see this whole thing differently. Running was her way of pretending she was still free and didn't care. She really didn't allow herself a bonding point.

    Aren't you afraid though that she may complete all these things and then as an adult take Erika from your home? That would worry me to tears.

    Maybe the laws there are different....but in the US...she would get that child in a heartbeat.

    It's good you had the money situtation to hold over her head.

    Is she still seeing the nice guy?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Where does she live?

    Do you guys have the job corp program in Canada?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    You know, I'm not afraid of Krystal ever taking Erika and raising her herself on her own. That's my goal. A child belongs with thier mother. She won't be able to take her however without proving that she is fit and that won't be for a couple years if she's full force at getting her life together. Children's aid and the courts won't allow her to take the baby unless she can fully support erika and she's had a parenting classes, her education, counselling and her anger managed. The longer she waits to get all this done, the harder it will be for her to get Erika in the future.

    We don't have job corp here whatever that is? They will however, if Krystal proves to really be working hard at changing her ways and has shown some improvements, help her get on her feet financially while she finnishes to get her education and help her with child care costs, living expences and things like that through Ontario Works. But like I said, it won't be for a couple of years unless a miracle happens and she really does a 360 in a matter of a year.

    I want to be a normal gramma in the future. I want Erika to live with her mom one day. I'll always be in the picture to make sure she is okay, healthy and happy.

    I will probably cry my eyes out when that day happens both because of sadness and happiness. I'm not out to "get" my daughter, I'm doing this to help her. If it all works out according to plan (no matter how long it takes), that makes it all worth it. If it doesn't, then I have raised my grand-baby with lots of love and care so she doesn't lose either way.

    I have a feeling that I will have erika here up until maybe the age of 6 or 7. Which is fine because she will know who her mommy is and they can both look forward to living together one day. Krystal will come around one day, I know she will. I did.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    It sounds like she is taking steps in the right direction.

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