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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    711

    Suggestions for getting her to sleep alone?

    My daughter just turned two and will not even nap in her own bed, let alone sleep in it all night. She is actually to the point where she won't sleep alone in my bed. I've tried laying down with her and waiting for her to doze off and then getting back up, but it's like she's on high alert. If I so much as move she sits straight up in the bed and asks, "Where you going Mommy? Lay down with me."

    Have any of you had similar problems with kids?
    STOP MOUNTAIN TOP REMOVAL

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,352

    Re: Suggestions for getting her to sleep alone?

    Ayla, I did some quick research and found this:

    Solutions to Get Toddlers to Sleep in Their Own Bed | eHow.com

    I don't know if it will help, but can't hurt to try.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    436

    Re: Suggestions for getting her to sleep alone?

    Well, the things I did to get my toddler to sleep was first of all to build up a pre-bed routine, and being -very- consistent with it. For us it's always; pyama's on, brush teeth, read bedtime stories in my bed, then put him in his own bed, alone of course, a bedtime kiss, all lights out and I'm out of there. You'll have your own rituals ofcourse, but I found that consistency really helps him/her understand that it's bedtime.

    Personally, I think laying down with her while falling asleep might not be the best of ideas, I'm afraid you might end up 'teaching' your kid not to fall asleep alone, which is exactly the opposite of what you're trying to achieve if I understand you correctly.

    I had the same problem with my son at that age, and I only managed to get him to fall asleep (alone) just by sheer consistency. At first it caused a lot of sleepless nights, but eventually it started to work (might take a week or even a few), and by now he's even eager to go to bed and sleeps very fast (like in under a minute).

    I also found it really helps to explain clearly why you want your child to fall asleep alone, and why it's important for her to sleep properly, I'm still amazed at how much children of that age are able to comprehend and understand.

    So in short my adivise is, have a bedtime ritual and be very consistent with it (also make sure your partner is on the same page), and if you want her to sleep alone, then stick with that and don't go sleep together. Well, that's what worked for my kid, but with all kids being different I can't give any guarantees ofcourse
    NoTargeT (a.k.a. Shilka)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    48

    Re: Suggestions for getting her to sleep alone?

    We did controlled crying with our first. I worked for a while, up until our 2nd came along.

    Hard, but it can work. Our nursery manager told us about it. Basically you leave them to cry in the cot for a few minutes, then go in, pick them up, say goodnight once, and put them down again. Then repeat, but on each next time (leave for 5 minutes each time) you just pick them up, cuddle for a bit, and put them down. Do not make eye contact, keep the room dark and say nothing.

    It can take days, weeks maybe, but in time they will learn to sleep.

    Thankfully our 2nd was easy and puts himself to sleep, but the eldest (now 4 1/2) is still hard to sleep and insists on sleeping with the light on and his door open.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    29

    Re: Suggestions for getting her to sleep alone?

    Personally I think it's proper for a child to sleep with their parents for as long as they feel they need to or even want to. My youngest still sleeps with my wife and with me before we separated. If my son doesn't feel comfortable sleeping across the hall in his own room then why would we force him to. Just my opinion. It's different if the child won't even sleep unless you are with them. But to me that attachment should be nurtured not nullified.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,806

    Re: Suggestions for getting her to sleep alone?

    My daughter was much younger but she had issues of her own falling asleep. She would only fall asleep in her swing chair and if we tried to put her into her crib, she'd scream, yell, cry and carry on.

    I finally got fed up with her controlling us and put her in the crib and let her scream. After a while she'd lay there with her mouth as close to the door as possible presumably because we couldn't hear her enough (we left the door partially open to allow light in).

    When she got no response to that she propped herself up and would poke her head as close to the door as possible and scream out the crack in the door.

    When that failed and she was literally hoarse, she lie down and fell asleep.

    Problem solved.

    Sometimes you have to take a little crap to break a bad habit but IMHO, giving into it only makes it worse when you finally lay down the law.

    If you want your kid to sleep in her own bed then make it happen and enforce it. The only way it's going to happen is by the strength in your resolve.

    Once kids feel they have control over you, you are literally screwed and I also think it's the beginning of the road to lack of respect between one or possibly both parties.

    As parents we've all had to do it at one point Ayla, stand firm and you won't regret it, at least not in the long term.

    ...in the short term it will feel like murder.
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