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  1. #1
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    Daughter seduced by older guy

    Dear anyone

    I am here because life has thrown a curve ball at the beginning of this week, one which Im sure many people have had to deal with, in the fact that my 14 yr old daughter has been seduced by a 19 year old guy!

    Where I live the law states that because she was 14 she has a say in whether he should be prosecuted - she says no .... why ... "to protect him"! He waited until just after her 14th birthday as he knew if she was 13 the state would have prosecuted him! The Police have said she is the one to suffer if we decide to prosecute him and frankly she deserves better than any more suffering.

    This all came to light as whenshe finished with him in the autumn last year he has been stalking her, making her go out with him by threatening to expose their secret romance.

    We found out because her cry for help was coming home late and starting an arguement - she went over the top over a silly comment and it was when she was running around the house with a knife trying to stab the rest of the family that we finally stopped her from cutting her own wrists, that this was just the tip of the iceberg as we discovered that now that its all over she has been self-harming herself by using a small hobby knife to cut her arms and her legs, anywhere where she could over herself.

    I have spent a week dealing with all kinds of officials to get her conselling and protection and the help she needs.

    This leaves me with the rest of the family, her father who's anger and feeling of guilt is so insurmountable and he's trying to keep a lid on it, her brother who is also being eaten up by guilt as he feels he should have done something as he'd seen them together!

    I am normally a strong person and deal with all the family issues but this.......... I cannot breath........ I cannot sleep....... I listen for her movements to see if she's doing anything strange. I watch her for mood changes, the slightest hint that she's going in her deep mood.

    I am sorry if this is a bit disjointed but lack of sleep means Im not quite as coherent as normal.

    I suppose I just want to know from anyone how they have handled something similar and I suppose I need to know someone is listening/reading!

    Thank you for reading

    Rosie

  2. #2
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    The best approach to deal with a difficult situation like this, is to remain supportive of your daughter. You cannot take her pain away, as much as you desire it.


    Give her some space, but make it clear that whenever she wants to talk you are there for here. Forcing conversation on her will only result in her clamming up, and feel like you don't trust her. Not saying you need to ignore her - far from it - but you can't watch her every step either; she'll feel she has to do things in secret, and that will only mean you have less of a clue what is going on.

    Most importantly, try not to act as if your world has come crashing down. That is probably only adding to the guilt she experiences, most notably from her father and brother.


    Don't push her (yet) to press charges. She is psychologically very vulnerable right now, and she still has quite some time to press charges if she wants to. She needs to be in a better state of mind, before she can make any decisions on such matters.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  3. #3
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    An awful situation to be in and im afraid that i cant offer any real advice, other than to play it very carefully and be sure that your dughter KNOWS she has your 100% support.

    It would be interesting to know why she broke up with him......then again at 14, love can be a day to day issue. I just wondered if there was a major reason that could be worth knowing.

    All the best and please keep us posted

  4. #4
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    OMG Rosie that is just frickin' awful and I'm very sorry for what you're all going through!!!

    I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be because ever waking moment of the day is spent worrying and it follows you into whatever loose sleep patterns you can put together.

    The only thing I can say is you all really need to be there for your child right now. If you are trying to get her counselling its something that you should maybe all get involved in. The only reason I say that is your daughter may feel even more singled out if it's just her getting all this attention especially since she may not want any of it right now, who can be sure?

    Keeping the lines of communication open is probably paramount. I'd also wonder if getting out of the situation entirely for a short time (such as a short trip?) may not be a bad idea. Sometimes getting completely away from the situation into a better place can inject massive doses of clarity to everyone.

    It's all about support and communication at this point so please keep all lines open, even the lines around here after all, that's what we're here for!
    My Daughter Rules!

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  5. #5
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Rosie, I can only add to what everyone has said so far. Be there for your daughter, encourage her to talk without judgment, and really listen to what she has to say. Give her space when she needs time alone. By listening to her verbal and non-verbal clues may help a lot. It's about her right now, not about how everyone else feels, tied up with guilt. If you can get your family on the same page with love and understanding, may help her a lot.

    Keep coming back, Rosie, we are here for you.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  6. #6
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    How can I thank you for your words of wisdom and understanding.

    It has been a roller coaster of week with the ex-boyfriend attempting to stalk her and intimidate her into going back out with him. His ego is dented and has not once offered help with her problems but just wanted to know how could "she" dump him!

    He is now, FINALLY, out of the picture courtesy of the authorities.

    As for my daughter, we have begun a round of counselling for her and she is finally revealing all the details - some of which, as a parent, you do not want to hear but we know without this total honesty she will always be closed down and will not get further.

    She has the support of the family, her teachers & school counsellor and now the Youth counsellors.

    As for why she dumped him.......... because he was presurring her into doing things she did not want to do. I even asked her why tell us now after all the secrecy and her honest answer was "because I wanted it to stop and him to go away but I couldnt do it on my own" - heartbreaking.

    I watch her closely (covertely of course), her face reflects lots of emotions, ranging from pain (physical and mental), to relief, to loss, to heartbreak, to laughter, through to tears. Through all these I am here for her.

    I must admit I have not seen her laugh as much as she has done in the past few days and she has even begun to make jokes about herself - in a fun way and not a derogative way.

    Everything we do as parents/family now is geared to her and her alone at this time - no blame is made, no gesture of anger, no reflection of our guilt is put onto her - we are just here for her and she absolutely knows it.

    How can I thank you for allowing me to express my feelings here. It's hard sometimes with no close friends/relatives to relate things too and I do value your views and opinions.

    From my heart to your heart I send you all wishes of great thankfulness.

    Regards
    Rosie

  7. #7
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Hi Rosie,

    A lot of conflicting emotions going on with your daughter. And a lot of secrets, but let those secrets remain secrets. She'll talk when she is ready to. Some of the details are not what you want to hear as a parent, but she is the one who has to live her life, and she is the one who has to give everything a place. That is not an easy thing to do for her.

    What is clear that it was an abusive relationship. She will learn a lot from this experience, and I hope she can learn not to hold it against herself that this relationship has not been what she imagined it would have been; and she may feel confronted by herself time and again, for all of her (self)perceived shortcomings.

    It is great to hear she is making jokes about herself. That is a positive sign, especially since they are not derogatory. It will take some time before she is really starting to feel good about herself, and confident in herself. I hope the counselors have a positive effect on her.

    Ideally however her father and brother would find some sort of venting mechanism to let out the frustration with the situation and the guilt they experience. Physical exercise, spending some time with friends would not necessarily be a bad thing for them. And the same can be said for you, so please come back when you need some more words of encouragement, of support, because this is an emotionally draining experience.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  8. #8
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    She has the support of the family, her teachers & school counsellor and now the Youth counsellors.

    I watch her closely (covertely of course), her face reflects lots of emotions, ranging from pain (physical and mental), to relief, to loss, to heartbreak, to laughter, through to tears. Through all these I am here for her.

    I must admit I have not seen her laugh as much as she has done in the past few days and she has even begun to make jokes about herself - in a fun way and not a derogative way.

    Everything we do as parents/family now is geared to her and her alone at this time - no blame is made, no gesture of anger, no reflection of our guilt is put onto her - we are just here for her and she absolutely knows it.
    Rosie, thank you so much for the update and it seems that things are turning around because you are all there for her with no blame or guilt. I believe when she sees how much you love and accept her, even through her mistakes, she will open up even more.

    It's so good to hear that when she needs it, she is listened to. So many are quick to judge, find fault, or do our own talking that the hurting person pulls even further away.

    I hope others who read your thread will also realize that what you are doing is a really good thing for one's child.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  9. #9
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Dear all

    Isn't there a saying "what does not kill us only makes us stronger"??

    Right now I'm waiting for the strength to kick in.

    Again thank you for the words of encouragement - I too hope that anyone else who has to deal with this in their family (hevean forbid) will see that laying blame is not the way to go. It is not easy because we so want to lay open our guilt, anger, distress but as all have said, and even myself have said, this only leads to more problems for the person in the middle.

    At a meeting recently we had to meet with 3 others and my daughter was sat at the end of the table, head down, hiding behind her hair .... I stopped the meeting and made her switch chairs with her father. The others wer puzzled - I explained that what I saw was a girl looking for all the world like the "accussed" in the dock at a court! My daughter smiled and held my hand with relief that she was between us - supporting her either side. The others nodded in recognition that this was true and she didn't need to feel like she was guilty. Such a little action in the scheme of things but one that left her feeling secure.

    She has just gone to bed after a stressful day for her. I told her that she had been riding high on the wave of relief it was to tell all and get things in the open, but that there would be a dip, huge drop in her confidence and she would doubt herself. I've asked her to talk to us even if its to say "hey I need time to process things" - thats our key phrase now "I'm processing things"!!

    We've discussed the theraphy she's about to undertake and to help her understand why she's scared I told her she's about to undertake a journey - one for which she cannot plan, she cannot prepare, which will lead her into a darkened room where there is no light and a cliff which she will have to take a step off just by trusting those around her to catch her! It is all we can do.

    For the rest of us, well her father & brother I have asked his family to help - they are close to them and they will give their support without judement - the generations are diverse enough to help in both cases.

    As for me...... sleep is a luxury that does not exist as I listen for her every movement - laughter is something I fake to keep the mood light - tears are what I shed at the end of the day when everyone has gone to bed!! I'm not looking for sympathy or being morose just giving a description of my daily routine.

    Allowing me to write my thoughts/feelings here helps tremendously and I hope, in turn, one day to be in a position to help others - maybe not today - but one day I will return the help 1000-fold ...... "Pay it forward" as the movie says

    Rosie

  10. #10
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Keep it up Rosie! This is a very trying situation, but you are really battling through this, and so enormously supportive of your daughter .
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  11. #11
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Hello my cyber friends

    I have not been able to write anything for a while and now find myself with spare moments in which to update the world.

    Things have progressed well for my daughter - she has been taking counselling really well and has been very open and honest to us, providing details of things that happened to her with the guy and also how she was feeling during this time with respect to her place in the family. Once the "Pandora's box" is open it is very difficult to shut. She still slips every now and then and begins her thoughts/sentances with words which we now see as triggers to lies and all we do is look at her quietly until she, herself, suddenly realises that she's repeated the pattern and cuts herself short and begins again. We don't judge her for it, we smile and begin again.

    As for the rest of the family it has been hard. Her father is still angry at himself for not seeing things happening and whilst he's not the physical type to hurt anyone his words have been hurtful. He's trying to talk it through with his family but its not easy as everyone has their own problems.

    Her brother is somewhat calmer, however, I am convinced he has approached the guy in some form - but he does not either confirm nor deny it.

    Whilst counselling would be good for the family it is a matter of prioritising - my daughter is no 1 - and here we have to pay for every session and it is putting a drain on resources.

    As for me, it seems that every acquaintance I have, every colleague I speak with have dramatic events in their lives and I am their "listening post" and shoulder to cry on. So forgive me if I use you, my cyber friends as my release to my feelings etc. - but where do I begin !

    For now I thank you all for your lovely words - Luba - Vutrain especially for your nice words and for looking me up from time to time.

    With grateful thanks

    Rosie

  12. #12
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Hi Rosie,


    It is great to hear that the counseling has the desired effects on your daughter. It may be an idea to talk to the counselor to see if you can get some money back, through your family's insurance.
    If that is not an option the only way to get some money back is through court procedures, and it is really questionable if it is worth it. In a lot of these cases, the victim will be subjected to character assassinations, and the perpetrator is likely to walk scot free from the whole case. That is the justice system in cases of abuse for you .
    Other than that, either the family needs to find more money from somewhere, or cut on some non-essential expenditure.

    - With regards to yourself
    Dealing with emotional issues is draining. You may want to consider making yourself unavailable to some of your acquaintances, especially those that do not / have not reciprocated. No one needs fair weather friends, especially not when the sea is rough as it is for you.

    - With regards to her father.
    I may be wrong here, but I think he is suffering from a peculiar betrayal: he may have had the image of your daughter as his little girl, and thought that he would always be around to protect her in the great big world. Not only has he come to terms with her growing up, but also with the fact that no one but your daughter herself can protect her.
    Ideally he should go to counseling, to deal with his issues, but if that is not an option he needs to find some outlet for his anger and frustrations fast, as his behaviour may end up poisoning familial relationships.

    Your daughter may have a very difficult role in this, and it would not be fair to burden her with the responsibility for her father's wellbeing. The corollary is that she may feel bad about what her father is going through and blame herself for it. That would be counterproductive to say the least.
    Her growing stronger and regaining confidence in life may help him a lot. Her life has come crashing down, but your husband needs to come to understand that she lives and will make something good out of life.

    - With regards to her brother
    Nothing much you can do, except for stressing that this guy is not even worth the effort of getting worked up over. Let alone having to spend some time in hospital / jail because of a fight.

    - With regards to your daughter
    Keep on going, and keep on providing a warm open and a caring environment. Don't except to get all answers. There may be some intimate details she will never share with anyone, and she may use the occasional white lie, to protect herself from herself (from prosecution by one's own mind).
    If she corrects herself, when you just look at her, thinking she is lying, that is fine. No need to force her to be truthful - she will feel that her boundaries would not matter much, and that would remind her of the relationship she had with this guy.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  13. #13
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Dear Friends
    Why do we have to go full circle and repeat the same mistakes?
    I am afraid our daughter has been conducting a clandestine relationship with this older guy, despite the police involvement, despite her therapy, despite all the love and care given by family, friends, school.

    She cannot see that this man is dangerous. So much so she convinced us she was staying at a friends house last Friday evening when in fact she met him. He's such a "gentleman" that he could not afford a hotel or friends house (at the age of 21) that he took her to a local beach and stayed there all night with her. She came home Saturday with immense back pain and unable to walk properly.

    Also she's been harming herself again since he's been in touch.

    I wish I could get him put away but as she's now 16 and the law views things differently for her here she knows she's the one holding the power. If she insists it is with her consent there is nothing we can do

    I so want to yell, scream and show her where she will end up.

    Anyone ............ help

    Rosie

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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    dear friends
    forgive me if this appears a few times, im having trouble with my internet and can't see if anything has been postd.

    my daughter has been having a secret relationshipw ith the older guy - to the point she spent the weekend with him instead of a girlfriend. He's sucha gentlemen of means that they slept the night on a beach because he has no money and she came home with a bad back and in pain. She lied today about her whereabouts and this is ghow we found out.

    we 've had to give our "permission" for her to see him as she will continue to do so despite all he has put her through - we figured at least this way its not "forbideen fruit" but she's got to tell us when she's meeting him and where and no more overnights away from the house.

    We know its a power trip on his part and we are conccrned that because his ego was so hurt last time that he will take her now to a point and then drop her publically and for his own ego.

    We have said if we see her spiralling into her depressions we will jump in and call a time out so she can recover - as we've found out she's also been self harming, smoking and has been trying to get weed from his friends.

    What more can we do - the police will do nothing as she is 16 and she is giving her consent to be with him and she now knows that she has the power to control this!

    We are..........I dont know what we are......... my husband is so distraught but she doesn't care - we see it in her eyes she's so stubborn - so now I'm tryin gto take an old adage from my grandmother - "kill with kindness"........... take away the excitement of the illicitness etc......... then it becomes everyday, ordinary.

    Pray for her.......... We are SO SO SO worried that he will hurt her physically and if not then mentally and she will hurt herself.

    Friends..........what else can we do

    Rosie

  15. #15
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    That is a very difficult situation to be in. Young people, most of them anyways, will insist that they know everything, know what they are doing, even when it is obvious to everyone else they are engaging in harmful behaviours.

    You have several options, none of which are appealing.
    1) Invite the guy over. At least that way you will be around somewhat.

    2) Considering she was too young (legally speaking) to give consent when he initially seduced her, you could go the legal route, but that will only backfire on you, since it will drive her more in the arms of her "lover". Something similar applies if she received and / or sent naughty pictures on a mobile phone (these days children are the #1 distributors of child pornography). Even in the unlikely event that it would lead to a conviction, the legal repercussions would be next to non-existent.

    3) If she is still in therapy, discuss things with her counselor. (S)he might have some useful suggestions to deal with the situation. Also, consider asking your daughter if she still thinks it is useful to continue. Why spend so much money (given your circumstances) on something she may well think is a waste of time?

    It seems your daughter is hell-bent on proving you wrong. As such she will not even really accept option number one, since then she will demand her privacy and all that; I am not sure your husband could handle that.

    In order to get help, she must first feel she needs help. At this moment she obviously does not. If she wants to waste her life on this guy, there is essentially nothing you can do.

    The only thing you can do is to try and keep the lines of communication open, and that will be hard enough for you and your husband in particular.

    Tell her that if she wants to screw around you know she will, and that there is nothing you can do to stop her. Tell her that she can see the guy if she wants to, but also ask her what kind of future she sees for herself and with that guy. Ask questions, to imply she deserves better but don't judge the guy in her presence. Try to avoid harsh words, since they will only strengthen her resolve. Definitely better to keep your husband out of such conversations.

    She is probably trying to make sense of the situation herself, despite her stubborn appearance. The harsher you are towards this guy, the more stubborn she will become. Even if you mention real risks, to her health or even ending up in prostitution, the more inclined she will be to go down that road, just to prove you wrong.

    Perhaps something could be gained by letting her brother talk to her (just the two of them). He may be better able to understand the modus operandi of this piece of art, since he probably knows some guys who operate like that.

    I wish I could come with more positive suggestions.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Dear all
    I will not be posting anything elsre on here as my husband has seen my thoughts feelings and despite the fact that i have been discreet he insists I am displaying private matters for the world to see
    Thank you for your kind words of wisdom
    I wish all well
    Rosie

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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Denying a problem will not help to solve it. I do hope you and your family, will find a way to cope with the situation and resolve all the tensions and anxieties.

    Take care.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Dear all

    Now I have returned to Lifesupporters I feel I need to close this chapter as we as a family have moved on.

    My daughter is now in a loving relationship with a wonderful guy who treats her as the special person she is. She still has to grow in her maturity but he has the patience to watch over her and guide her - they are soon to be 19 & 21 having birthday's a week apart.

    The catalyst that brought everything to a near fatal climax happened after I had to leave the forum ...

    21st October 2012 our daughter tried to commit suicide by swallowing a mix of substances which I will not say for fear of someone else doing the same. She was in intensive care for 4 days and under psychciatric observation for 6 days before she was allowed to come home. She did damage to her vocal chords, her lungs and thankfully a small amount of damage to her kidneys. She had to have voice coaching for many weeks.

    Why! She had tried many times to finish with the guy who had seduced her and despite her attempts to leave him and our pleas to leave her alone, he persisted in pursuing her until she felt she could no longer cope.

    We as a family had to undergo therapy for over a year and she had her own therapist to guide her through her trauma and her past and continues now with a help group. The one blessing is that the Head psychiatrist told us that it was a "cry for help" rather than a serious attempt as she so wanted to come home with us. This was the important thing because she knew she would be safe.

    As you can imagine her father and her brother wanted to go and do damage to the older guy and it was very difficult for them to keep control, but they did for her sake. Even to the point that, on her request, we allowed the guy to see her in hospital (under view of the nurses) as we believe she wanted him to take account of his input to her trauma. The nurses informed us that he did not which for her was her wake up call!

    We all learned not to blame each other and especially not our daughter for her actions. Whilst she continued to tell lies, make mistakes and generally be a teenager, she became stronger, more self reliant and eventually, more honest.

    Neither did we ***** foot around her or become insanely protective - in fact we gave her more freedom. Once she realised that her quality of life became better with her honesty etc she finally put that part of her past firmly behind her.

    I am very happy to consider this chapter firmly over.

    I re-read all the advice and guidance you all gave me during the issues I had posted on here and thank you from the bottom of my heart for you words.

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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Rosie, I'm so glad to hear that life has gotten better and taken on new meaning. So often people come to Lifesupporters with a problem but never share how they've dealt with it, what they've learned, and how they've continued on with their lives. One is left wondering if the help or advice was ever satisfactory or what they've actually done themselves for a better life. Thank you for this post, Rosie, exactly what I think Lifesupporters is about, helping each other.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  20. #20
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Hi Luba

    It was that support that helped me through those terrible times as it made me realise that the initial posts and the events that happened back then were nothing compared to the thought of losing our daughter.

    This has been a hard journey but finally we are all experiencing our new adventures in life.

    I hope that it will give hope to others who may be having similar issues

  21. #21
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie Sanchez View Post
    Hi Luba

    It was that support that helped me through those terrible times as it made me realise that the initial posts and the events that happened back then were nothing compared to the thought of losing our daughter.

    This has been a hard journey but finally we are all experiencing our new adventures in life.

    I hope that it will give hope to others who may be having similar issues
    I'm sure your initial posts as well as how you made it through will help others and inspire them not to give up on their children. You ARE an inspiration, Rosie!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  22. #22
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    you are such a sweetheart - thanks Luba - you make me smile

  23. #23
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie Sanchez View Post
    you are such a sweetheart - thanks Luba - you make me smile
    You, too, Rosie!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  24. #24
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    I have re-visited this thread today as I wanted to give an update. Life moves on but our past has a huge influence of how that future goes.

    Our daughter started to struggle with how her life was going and taking on the responsibility of having moved out.

    At first she enjoyed the freedom, being in her own space and being responsible for her actions but then loneliness, fear and insecurity crept in.

    About six months ago she was at her all time low, had put on huge amounts of weight, was having trouble in her then relationship and schooling/work was getting her down. She started to 'revert' to how she was 2/3 years ago and the panic and fears began to set in.

    So 4 months ago we immediately supported her in finding the right kind of help. Now she is the other side of her trauma but not without finally getting clarification as to why she acts how she does.

    She has been diagnosed as Bipolar with amnesiac episodes and will spend her life on medication & in some form of therapy. She is aware she is not alone in this, not only will she get help from family, boyfriend, friends but can also from fellow sufferers in her group therapy.

    She had to go back over the events of 4 years ago up to present day, something which was not pleasant but allowed her to finally move forward.

    Today she is happier than she has been in a while, full of hope and spirit for what the future holds now she has the answers to buffer her as she goes.

    For us, each day she smiles is a treasure and will continue to be.

    To anyone who is struggling personally or with a family member just remember

    ASKING FOR HELP IS THE FIRST STEP

  25. #25
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    Re: Daughter seduced by older guy

    I believe it always helps to get the right diagnosis, support from family, friends, etc. and the right medication.

    I'm happy to hear she is, once again, content with her life in going forward.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


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