Parents of children with drug addiction

[Star]

well, i will be going to my first al-anon meetting on friday morning. this will help me to be a better mother to my addicted daughter. looking forward to it.

while searching for an interventionist, i found out there are none in my area. but, i did find someone who wants to be one and is putting a plan together to starting this "business" in the area. i will be meeting with this person on friday and we will begin on working on a plan for my daughter. there will be a lot of people involved in this. i truly believe that if my daughter is confronted by many people who love her, she will back down and go get the help she desperately needs.

i'm done just sitting here doing nothing feeling like my hands are tied. my daughter needs to be found and saved.

[Duke]

I think you're doing the right thing here Star and I commend you for doing so much to try and help your child. Many give up which I believe is a testament to your character as not only a mother, but a good person.

[Luba]

I think you're doing the right thing here Star and I commend you for doing so much to try and help your child. Many give up which I believe is a testament to your character as not only a mother, but a good person.

I totally agree with this comment and I couldn't have said it better!

Good luck, Star, hoping it all works out! Please keep us posted as we are here for you!

[Vautrin]

I really hope this will work out Star. Good luck, and I hope you'll get your daughter back from this horrible addiction.

[twinkle]

I wish you lots of strength and stamina, for this is not an easy road, Star!!!

It is hard to teach someone what's good for them, but sometimes, hearing and seeing those she loves acting together... may just be what it takes to make her click!

Best of luck, my friend!

[Star]

thank you everyone and i certainly will keep you all posted.

[Star]

i went to the meeting. i found it too small for me. i'm not the type to share to strangers-i need to listen for awhile, get to know people then will share. i felt like i wass put on the spot and didn't like it. don't think i'll go back to that one. didn't feel comfortable.

on a happy note, krystal finally threw her junky loser boyfriend out of her apt. she's working towards getting her youngest daughter living with her and actually being a mom. i hve seen some positive changes in her lately. hoping this will be the end to her issues and my worrying about her. i'm hopeful.

still workinjg on my youngest.

[Vautrin]

That is good news about Krystal. I hope she can keep it up.

[Luba]

Good News about Krystal, Star!

[Star]

thought i would update this thread since it's been almost a year gone by since.

krystal's heroin use continued and she's still in the company of street losers. she is still injecting heroin as i write this. i have come a long way since i started this thread. i was in such desperation at that time last year. i did go to a couple of al-anon meetings and it reminded me of what i needed to do.

kassandra, my youngest, was now smoking heroin. i have no doubt in my mind that it was krystal who introduced her to the life of drugs but in the end, it was kassandra's choice to actually do them.

my daughters are now 24 and 21.

on march 30th, erika got baptized. krystal showed up completely high on heroin. we were all mortified and embarrassed to no end, as you can imagine. there was no point addressing anything at that point because she was high. i heard from her about a week or so later and i told her, unless she gets help, meaning detox and rehab, she is not to be coming around to nay family functions, is not welcomed in our home and will not be seeing erika at all. i forseen retaliation and it happened. she posted all kinds of nasty things about us on her facebook page. i had to block her from erika's page and limit her access to my page.

on march 31st, i was in a panic. we haven't heard from kassandra in 6 days. i didn't know whether she was dead or alive and feared the worst as you can imagine. i called the police, posted on my facebook and called her cell phone number and left numerous messages. got in touch with her landlord and finally, she contacted me that night at around 10 pm.

she was crying and begging for help. i went to pick her up with my brother who was amazing! she finally said yes for help!!! we brought her to the hospital and the next day she was in detox. she is now at home, 22 days clean and waiting to go to rehab on may 6. i have my little baby girl back. she's going to need a lot of deep counselling as there are some terrible things that happened to her that she will need to put into perspective and forgive herself about. she has been home with us now for about 2 weeks and she's doing amazing. she goes to her meetings every single day and is learning how to be a productive adult. she's on the road to recovery. finally!!!

as for krystal, she contacted me on friday night. i can tell she was high. she said she wants to go to detox and rehab but needs to find someone to watch her animals. she said she was going to call me on sunday and she didn't. krystal is going to die if she doesn't get help. this terrifies me. i won't give up though. she's worthy of a good healthy life too and i will die trying. all i can do is hope at this point and keep asking her to get help.

having loved ones who are addicts is heartbreaking. especially when it's your children.

[Vautrin]

Wonderful news about Kassandra. Hopefully she can see this through to the end.

AS for Krystal, hope nothing bad happens, but it is beyond your control. As difficult as it is, I hope you can accept things being beyond your control. Terrible state to be in.

[Luba]

Star, I've been inspired by you how you've handled all this with such love and devotion to your girls which must have given you so much fear and pain through the years. You are an amazingly strong woman!

[Star]

AS for Krystal, hope nothing bad happens, but it is beyond your control. As difficult as it is, I hope you can accept things being beyond your control. Terrible state to be in.

i am at a place now that i do accept things i cannot change. but, the fear that i can bury my daughter at any minutes of any day terrifies me beyond words. it is the reality that i live daily at this point in my life though. all i can do is hope.

Star, I've been inspired by you how you've handled all this with such love and devotion to your girls which must have given you so much fear and pain through the years. You are an amazingly strong woman!

i am a strong believer that God doesn't hand you anything you can't handle. i can't do anything but get through it, these are my children. i think any parent would do the same.

[Star]

just an update on kassandra - my youngest....today if the first day of rehab. i drove her in this morning. she was very scared and stressed over the unknown but by the time my dad and i left her, she was at ease and fine. another huge step!!

no changes with krystal. tried to get her to detox last thursday without success. will keep trying though and never give up.

[Vautrin]

That is great news about Kassandra. Hope she can keep it up .


Hope Krystal comes around as well.

[Luba]

Best wishes to Kassandra on her good decision! Kassandra's decision and recovery may help Krystal see the recovery going on and may try to get help as well! Surrounding you and your girls with faith just as you are inspiring for your girls!

[Star]

thanks you guys...

[JuLanda]

hi there, what's happening to you and to your 2 daughters we're horrible and damaging inside, mentally and emotionally. You need the right 'intervention approach', timing and use the 'words of God'.

nothing is impossible with the help and grace of God. I've been a pothead and due to curiosity and i feel 'some more', it led to substance abuse like sedatives and other stress relievers, during my teenage and working years. I feel high, but i am not yet satisfied. something is still missing.. then, i found God.

Because of my caring true friends, my family and God. i was able to change my life. i am clean and sober now for 2 years and still counting. Pray and have faith. God bless.

[Jmurph]

I also have a problem with my daughter, she's 21 years old, and at this age, she constantly using heroin and weeds because of her anxiety. I can't stand watching her ruining her life. So I’m now convincing her to attend some drug addiction recovery program here in Colorado, but I don’t know where or what rehab can provide a good treatment for my daughter. And in the first place, I don’t know if I can convince her to stop her addiction. With this, I’m trying my best to find a good rehab center that can help her with her problem, or some expert counselor that might enlighten her that drugs is not the answer. But if you guys know a good rehab center that can help my daughter please do tell me, or if you know some alternative ways to help her, let me know it. Your reply and advice will really be appreciated.

[Luba]

I also have a problem with my daughter, she's 21 years old, and at this age, she constantly using heroin and weeds because of her anxiety. I can't stand watching her ruining her life. So I’m now convincing her to attend some drug addiction recovery program here in Colorado, but I don’t know where or what rehab can provide a good treatment for my daughter. And in the first place, I don’t know if I can convince her to stop her addiction. With this, I’m trying my best to find a good rehab center that can help her with her problem, or some expert counselor that might enlighten her that drugs is not the answer. But if you guys know a good rehab center that can help my daughter please do tell me, or if you know some alternative ways to help her, let me know it. Your reply and advice will really be appreciated.

Jmurph, I honestly don't know how to get anyone to stop an addiction, either drugs or alcohol. I have lived on the other side of alcohol related family issues, and, at one time as a teen, I was headed towards what could have been a serious issue, but I stopped myself.

All I can add is that even a grown child never stops wanting and needing parents' love and support, no matter what the child is doing in the way of addiction. Maybe medication for her anxiety if she can't control it on her own is more the answer....

[Rosie Sanchez]

I agree with Luba that despite all that is going on your child needs love, which admittedly is hard to give when you are in the moment.

As a parent of a child that went through her own difficulties I can only say that once she got the right help she told us "nothing you would say had any effect on me, except that you kept telling me you loved me no matter what".

I hope you find suitable help not just for your daughter but for you as a parent.

[Jmurph]

[QUOTE=Luba;159659]

[COLOR=black]

Jmurph, I honestly don't know how to get anyone to stop an addiction, either drugs or alcohol. I have lived on the other side of alcohol related family issues, and, at one time as a teen, I was headed towards what could have been a serious issue, but I stopped myself.

All I can add is that even a grown child never stops wanting and needing parents' love and support, no matter what the child is doing in the way of addiction. Maybe medication for her anxiety if she can't control it on her own is more the answer....

thanks for the reply, it makes me feel light at the moment. You are right. A person will never stops seeking attention.

[Jmurph]

I agree with Luba that despite all that is going on your child needs love, which admittedly is hard to give when you are in the moment.

As a parent of a child that went through her own difficulties I can only say that once she got the right help she told us "nothing you would say had any effect on me, except that you kept telling me you loved me no matter what".

I hope you find suitable help not just for your daughter but for you as a parent.

Thanks, yaeh, i almost forgot that telling a person how much you love them is very powerful arsenal you can have.

[Rosie Sanchez]

I agree with Luba that despite all that is going on your child needs love, which admittedly is hard to give when you are in the moment.

As a parent of a child that went through her own difficulties I can only say that once she got the right help she told us "nothing you would say had any effect on me, except that you kept telling me you loved me no matter what".

I hope you find suitable help not just for your daughter but for you as a parent.

Thanks, yaeh, i almost forgot that telling a person how much you love them is very powerful arsenal you can have.

I know it is hard to love someone when you see them destroying themselves and all you really want to do is shake them to their senses. We found once we had our issues in hand (the anger at the situation, the disappointments, the tiredness from worry) the focus became about her and we gave as much love and reassurance as was possible.

We also took time for ourselves as parents to vent all the above hidden emotions - in the car when we went shopping, when we went for walks with the dogs - anywhere where she could not hear us - we never did this at home as the old saying goes "Walls have ears". We learnt that it was just as important for us to "download" our emotions to enable us to help her.

I really wish you much success with finding the right path for your daughter - asking for help is always that first step.

[Luba]

I agree with Luba that despite all that is going on your child needs love, which admittedly is hard to give when you are in the moment.

As a parent of a child that went through her own difficulties I can only say that once she got the right help she told us "nothing you would say had any effect on me, except that you kept telling me you loved me no matter what".

I hope you find suitable help not just for your daughter but for you as a parent.

Thanks, yaeh, i almost forgot that telling a person how much you love them is very powerful arsenal you can have.

Please let us know, with letting her know how much she is loved, how it is helping you both, Jmurph.