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  1. #1
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    Parents of children with drug addiction

    i have wanted to write this here for a very long time and everytime i couldn't do it. because, if i did this, then i would be facing that i have 2 beautiful daughters who are drug addicts and the guilt sets in big time.

    I have dealt with addictions before as my parents were alcoholics growing up and know that this is not my fault BUT, this being my own kids, kind of throws everything out the window that i know about addiction. the fact is that i don;t know how to parent a child with an addiction.

    my girl's drugs of choice? well, let's see. started with my oldest who experimented with ecstasy that went into oxys then injecting heroin. she is now on methadone. my youngest starte with smoking pot that led to cocaine then snorting oxys. she is now on methadone as well.

    methadone to me is just as bad as being on the drugs. this is going to sound horrible coming out of the mouth of a mother but i can't help feeling this way. i hate to be around them both. i feel angry, disapointed and just need to not be near them but, when i;m not around them, i miss them. how does that make any sense?

    i feel so powerless, guilt for i don't know what, sadness, anger, disapointment...i feel like a horrible mother. i know i'm not alone, there are a lot of parents in my situation these days but i never thought in my wildest dreams that my beautiful little babies would turn out to be this in life.
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  2. #2
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    I just can't imagine being a parent of a child who has a drug addiction and feel horrible for parents that have to go through it. I know as a parent myself, we put so much hope and faith into our children that when they fall off the path we tend to take it personally or question what we did wrong.

    I have known you for years now Star and I don't think bad mother or bad parent enters into the equation. You are a very generous, kind-hearted lady and it's a real honor to call you a friend!

    I do find myself wondering though that given your families history, is it possible that this behaviour is genetic? I know my family has a history of alcohol abuse and it was a real struggle for me to break that cycle.

    I know my daughter now drinks socially now and then at parties but I must confess, I do worry about her ability to drink in moderation. I know for a fact that she suffers blackouts if she drinks too much, a trait she picked up from me.
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  3. #3
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    addiction is in all sides of the family. my kids grew up knowing this. i warned them not to dabble in drugs or it might bite them in the arse because there are drug and alcohol addicts on all sides of the family. it's in their genes but they chose not to listen. and now, here they are today - drug addicts on methadone. they drink alcohold while on the methadone as well. they don't listen to a word we say to them. now that they're "adults", they feel that we can't tell them how to live thier lives..which is true but, really, they're not my daughters right now.

    i love my kids so much i would die for them. but i hold a lot of anger inside of me due to all of this chaos. unfortunately, that anger flows out on them at times. more then i would like to but i don';t know how else to deal with this. i know how to deal with a brother or a parent who is an alcoholic or drug addict, but my own kid? nope.

    part of me wants to hold them so tight and never let them go, the other wants nothing to do with them until they get themselves straight and on the right path. i feel like i'm stuck at this crossroad just sitting there waiting. it's horrible!

    the good thing is that they no longer with with us. so i don't deal with it on a daily basis thank goodness or i'd probably lose my mind. and it wouldn't be good for erika either.

    i don't wish this on anyone.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Well you certainly have people here who are sympathetic and understanding of you situation Star so thank you for sharing.

    I guess the only solace you can take is that our kids will always do stupid things until they learn for themselves that what their doing is stupid. With some kids, that realization can come quite soon but with others it can take years.

    I think of the things I did in my youth and wonder if my parents knew some of the things I did, how would they feel? I knew about substance abuse and I knew that I'd likely be easily consumed by it but it didn't stop me either; I had to figure it out for myself.

    I guess one of the questions we have to ask is were we any different?
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  5. #5
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    you know what duke? we weren't too much different really. i've had this conversation with my parents and they say how bad they feel for me that my kids turned out the way they did. i wasn't an easy kid to live or deal with either by any means but, i didn't do things to the extreme that my girls are doing and have done. my parents now say they didn't have it nearly as bad as i've had it with my kids...i got it back 10 fold and then some!

    see, the thing is that i never got into drugs so i was able to learn from my mistakes and grow up and out of my juvenile ways. my kids are stuck in the mind frame of being young teens caused that's when they started the drugs. krystal is now 23 and kass is 20 but when and if they ever stop doing the drugs, they will still be 14. sad. this breaks my heart to no end.

    i think i'm going to seek out al-anon. i haven't been there in years (since i was a late teen) but i think i need it now. i need to learn how to parent my drug addicted kids.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    You know the funny thing is that like you, I didn't get too far into drugs myself except marijuana. I did a lot of pot but that's benign given the alternatives. I also did 'shrooms about 6 or 8 times, Hash 20 or so times and cocaine once and once only.

    I never tried anything else as I was scared of the drugs but in today's society, there really doesn't seem to be that fear with the harder drugs. I honestly don't think it's much different than when we were growing up because many of our parents were afraid of the then harder drugs like LSD, Cocaine, etc.

    Are we just seeing the cycle repeat but now the drugs are unknown to us such as the oxy's and therefor more scary? Is it perhaps a combination of scared of the drugs, scared for our children and a large dose of guilt or anguish in questioning ourselves as parents?
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  7. #7
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Some people are more susceptible to drugs than others. Smoking pot does nothing for me (I hate it! - the only reason I have done so is because my ex was strongly insisting), while a normally baked space cake does nothing for me either. Haven't tried anything else. I have been drunk on a few occasions, but I can still recall all the occasions it happened, and it does not amount to more than 10 times. In most cases the social setting was key to getting me to that point, not so much the desire to get drunk - which is what is really the problem with addictions - the desire to get in such a state. I am not going to claim I have extensive experience with drugs, though I have run into a fair number of people who have ruined their lives on drugs.

    Part of the story is undoubtedly a genetic component. Undoubtedly peer pressure plays its role, and not everyone can withstand peer pressure well, especially not as teenagers (and I would think that the pressures on girls would be bigger than on boys). Couple that with some good old conditional learning - the first few experiences will greatly influence one's habits.

    Sadly there is not much you can do in this situation Star. They won't really try to kick the habit until they feel ready for it. That could be today, or it could be in twenty years when their own children are in a similar situation as to what you found yourself in as a teenager.
    You can't really reason with an addict. For an addict the addiction is "reasonable" so to speak, since it is their way to cope with particular situations. And with any addiction, your actions towards an addicted person will be seen through a prism coloured by the addiction: your actions will be judged by how they contribute towards sustaining the addiction.
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  8. #8
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    You know the funny thing is that like you, I didn't get too far into drugs myself except marijuana. I did a lot of pot but that's benign given the alternatives. I also did 'shrooms about 6 or 8 times, Hash 20 or so times and cocaine once and once only.
    i only did pot at 15 and that scared me so bad that i didn't try it again until i was in my 20's. even then, i didn't like it so i didn't do it. i was a drinker but pretty much gave that up after i had krystal. the onlky thing i got addicted to was smoking cigarettes and i just beat that addiction on november 20-11. took over 35 years!

    I never tried anything else as I was scared of the drugs but in today's society, there really doesn't seem to be that fear with the harder drugs. I honestly don't think it's much different than when we were growing up because many of our parents were afraid of the then harder drugs like LSD, Cocaine, etc.
    i was terrified of drugs. i had this book that i took out of the library that described the effects of heavy drugs like coke, lsd, heroin and that was enough for me not to try any of them. i had friends who used those but i stayeds clear of it. too scared. i kept that book and read through it with my kids when they were about 11 or so. didn't scare them i guess. the drugs out now are much scarier then the ones we had back then.

    Are we just seeing the cycle repeat but now the drugs are unknown to us such as the oxy's and therefor more scary? Is it perhaps a combination of scared of the drugs, scared for our children and a large dose of guilt or anguish in questioning ourselves as parents?
    i don't think it's the same cycle though duke. these days, especially girls, have no respect for themselves or their bodies. a good reputation means nothing to them, this isn;t something they hold dear and protect; it's something they give away. my girls got into prostetution and escorting which lead them to the heavy drugs. this isn't the same world as it was back then. it seems to be normal for young girls these days to escort and sell their bodies. that lifestyle is now the "cool" lifestyle. sad isn't it? went from exotic dancwer to escorting...pot to oxys and heroin.

    my youngest is over at my house as i write this. her face is shiny, her speach is slow and it gets on my nerves. i can't stand to be around that. i feel guilty because i feel this way.
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  9. #9
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Vautrin View Post
    Some people are more susceptible to drugs than others. Smoking pot does nothing for me (I hate it! - the only reason I have done so is because my ex was strongly insisting), while a normally baked space cake does nothing for me either. Haven't tried anything else. I have been drunk on a few occasions, but I can still recall all the occasions it happened, and it does not amount to more than 10 times. In most cases the social setting was key to getting me to that point, not so much the desire to get drunk - which is what is really the problem with addictions - the desire to get in such a state. I am not going to claim I have extensive experience with drugs, though I have run into a fair number of people who have ruined their lives on drugs.

    Part of the story is undoubtedly a genetic component. Undoubtedly peer pressure plays its role, and not everyone can withstand peer pressure well, especially not as teenagers (and I would think that the pressures on girls would be bigger than on boys). Couple that with some good old conditional learning - the first few experiences will greatly influence one's habits.

    Sadly there is not much you can do in this situation Star. They won't really try to kick the habit until they feel ready for it. That could be today, or it could be in twenty years when their own children are in a similar situation as to what you found yourself in as a teenager.
    You can't really reason with an addict. For an addict the addiction is "reasonable" so to speak, since it is their way to cope with particular situations. And with any addiction, your actions towards an addicted person will be seen through a prism coloured by the addiction: your actions will be judged by how they contribute towards sustaining the addiction.
    yes, you're right and i know it. but hard to swallow when it's your children. all i can do is hope to god that they survive through this. i don't want to bury my children.

    it's so much easier to deal with addiction when it's a parent or a sibbling rather then your own children. they're all heartbreaking but easier none the less.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Star View Post
    my youngest is over at my house as i write this. her face is shiny, her speach is slow and it gets on my nerves. i can't stand to be around that. i feel guilty because i feel this way.
    I think this is key. As a parent the most horrific thing that can happen, is not so much your kid doing something stupid, but your own inability to prevent the stupidity from occurring. We'd like to think we have big powers to shape the lives of our loved ones in a positive way. It is a basic parental instinct to feel that way. Sadly our powers are much more limited than we wish they were.

    'Friends' are more influential on children than parents are. In this modern age with cell phones, internet, and all kinds of virtual contact mechanisms it is impossible for a parent to be even aware of what may be going on in a child's life, especially if there are constraints on time. If parents have to work three jobs to pay the bills, there is a severe risk that they won't have the time to parent properly, with all the social costs associated to that.

    This is not meant as a criticism of you as a parent. You try your best and hope that it works out. That is all you can do as a parent.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    i agree taht friends are a huge influence on kids today as they were back in our days as well. but, today is more dangerous with all the technology out there. we didn;t have cell phones or internet (now i'm really dating myself ) so it was a little harder to do things behind our parent's back. at least back then, they did have some control - the law backed them up...in today's age, parents have no control; the child has all the control. this is where it all starts. this is when it started with my child way back when she was 13. no help out there for us and nobody backing us up. now look at the result. sad thing is that there are way too many kids out there like mine. take all the pot heads there were back in our day and multiply that by thousands; it's that bad.

    my children weren't supposed to turn out this way. i was a stay at home mom until my youngest was 12 then it was dad being a stay at home dad. always someone there. tons of "at a boys" and I love yous, hugs and kisses and this is the result. i'm at a loss. i;'ve been on this ride now for way too many years. 10 to be exact. when will it all stop? when will my girls wake up and smell life? live life? be productive women in society? be responsible adults? i feel like i was robbed of a normal relationship with my daughters. i lost out on all the fun good little things because of these damn drugs. i need some serious help. i need to learn how to be a mother to addicts.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Star View Post
    i don't think it's the same cycle though duke. these days, especially girls, have no respect for themselves or their bodies. a good reputation means nothing to them, this isn;t something they hold dear and protect; it's something they give away. my girls got into prostetution and escorting which lead them to the heavy drugs. this isn't the same world as it was back then. it seems to be normal for young girls these days to escort and sell their bodies. that lifestyle is now the "cool" lifestyle. sad isn't it? went from exotic dancwer to escorting...pot to oxys and heroin.

    my youngest is over at my house as i write this. her face is shiny, her speach is slow and it gets on my nerves. i can't stand to be around that. i feel guilty because i feel this way.
    It's funny you say that because my daughter is one of the few that isn't really too concerned with how she's viewed by others but at her school this is a very rare trait. My daughter does things to make herself feel good and part of that is looking good but she does that for her first and foremost.

    I really don't believe (or perhaps I don't want to believe) that all girls are the same; no more than I want to believe that all teenagers are all the same.

    The prostitution thing I just can't imagine and I'm glad I don't have to but I really don't think it comes before the drugs, it comes with them or because of them. All of these urges happen at a time when your hormones are in over drive so how some even manage to get through it really is a miracle.

    Quote Originally Posted by Star
    this isn't the same world as it was back then. it seems to be normal for young girls these days to escort and sell their bodies. that lifestyle is now the "cool" lifestyle. sad isn't it? went from exotic dancwer to escorting...pot to oxys and heroin.
    This was actually my point in the first place as to why I believe it's the same cycle just with more severe consequences.

    I really don't believe that it's much different than the world we grew up in. I think the only difference is the drugs and the circumstances around keeping yourself in supply but is it anymore severe than when we were young; maybe to us but likely not to our parents.

    I can't even imagine what our Grandchildren will be exposed to as teenagers but a part of me thinks that oxy and prostitution may be the least of our worries. In 20 years it could be synthesized genetically altered super drugs that are so expensive to purchase that contract killing is the only way to pay for them, who knows?

    With all our food being pumped full of steroids and growth hormones, we may find ourselves worried about our kids sleeping around and doing drugs at the ages of 8-10.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    This was actually my point in the first place as to why I believe it's the same cycle just with more severe consequences.

    I really don't believe that it's much different than the world we grew up in. I think the only difference is the drugs and the circumstances around keeping yourself in supply but is it anymore severe than when we were young; maybe to us but likely not to our parents.

    I can't even imagine what our Grandchildren will be exposed to as teenagers but a part of me thinks that oxy and prostitution may be the least of our worries. In 20 years it could be synthesized genetically altered super drugs that are so expensive to purchase that contract killing is the only way to pay for them, who knows?

    With all our food being pumped full of steroids and growth hormones, we may find ourselves worried about our kids sleeping around and doing drugs at the ages of 8-10.
    point taken and it makes sense. it is very scary to think what society will be like for our grandkids. can it really get any worse? i hope to god not.
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    Unhappy Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    It is pointless to think about what life will be like 50 or 100 years from now when you are faced with the struggles of the present.

    Understanding the present is more important, and in this case, it is obvious your children have made some startling choices in life. Choices we all wish they would not have made. Dealing with substance abuse in a personal relationship is difficult, because your natural instinct with your children will be to take charge of their lives.

    As an outsider it is impossible for me to know what drove them to do these things in the first place. Easy money? Bored with life? Felt that they did not get enough attention? (After what you have gone through with Krystal, I am really not sure about what drives her). These things do not have to be conscious, and peer pressure can have been unbearable to them.

    Everyone makes mistakes, and some people need more time to learn from them than others. Sadly one's actions cannot be undone, and that may keep the both of them trapped in bad situations. And contribute to keep their addictions in existence as an escape mechanism. The awareness that one has screwed up can paralyze people in difficult situations, and make it even impossible for them to admit to anyone they have. Others will simply live from day to day, without ever giving a thought to the consequences of any of their actions.

    Your daughters will always be your daughters. Naturally you'd like to maintain some form of relationship with them, but at this moment those relationships can't be healthy. They may be in similar difficult situations, but that does not necessarily mean that you should deal with them in the same manner; what works for your eldest child may not work for your youngest and vice versa.

    I fear it will mostly be a matter of trial and error to find out what is working for you to maintain a somewhat decent relationship with the both of them. Both your daughters are completely different people, and as such they will react differently to situations and people.
    Don't give up on them, and try to be conscious of how they would react to your words and actions, in the situation that they find themselves in. Neither of them is stupid, and they may well be wondering what is going on in your mind when you interact with them, or alternatively how to manipulate you to get what they want.
    That is why I don't believe there is only one right way to deal with drug addicted children.

    But most importantly, and that is easy to forget for someone who is constantly in stressful situations, you need to look after yourself Star. Going to support groups IRL may be highly beneficial to you, and also grabbing some opportunities for some downtime, whenever they are may help. Even something as simple as sharing a few laughs with your friends on a regular basis may do you a lot of good.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    I really don't think you always have to be driven to do something. There are just too many factors involved in the basis of what we all make decisions off of; some are just better at making good decisions than others.

    There are plenty of people who go to drugs out of sheer boredom and no outside influences other than perhaps easy supply. You can never truly know why a person is doing what their doing unless they tell you why which lets face it, how often do you think people are 110% honest about every little thing?

    Now parents try to give their kids as much information as possible about the dangers of drugs but no matter how good it is, it's still nothing compared to first hand experience.

    One of my daughters best friends has turned to drugs and sleeping around; she's changed so much in fact that I'm not even sure if my daughter and her talk anymore? This girl had far more advantages than many and yet here she is, a total mess by parenting standards.

    Where did they go wrong, why did she fall off the path; who really knows?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vautrin
    It is pointless to think about what life will be like 50 or 100 years from now when you are faced with the struggles of the present.
    I could not disagree more. The only way to guarantee you're never ready for the future is to never plan for it.

    I do agree however that it should not take precident over the here and now but as a parent you always do both simultaneously. I cannot remember one instance where critical parenting decisions were not made in the interests of my child's future and I'm sure most parents would agree on this point.

    I've parented the best I can to see my child not only through adolescence, but through her teen years, her early adult years and hopefully her later years when she's a parent. A parent doesn't stop being a parent ever so you have to do your best to arm your children with the tools to live life; all of it.

    I've done my best to give my child the tools to be a happy old Grandmother surrounded by loved ones and adoring family; if that isn't 50 years into the future then I don't know what is?
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post

    I've parented the best I can to see my child not only through adolescence, but through her teen years, her early adult years and hopefully her later years when she's a parent. A parent doesn't stop being a parent ever so you have to do your best to arm your children with the tools to live life; all of it.

    I've done my best to give my child the tools to be a happy old Grandmother surrounded by loved ones and adoring family; if that isn't 50 years into the future then I don't know what is?
    we've done our best also to parent our girls this way as well. the problem i have now is that it all got stunned when they started using drugs. trying to parent adult children to be adults isn't an easy thing. add drugs into the mix and it's near to impossible.

    i will never give up on them. even with the emotions that i'm feeling (the disgust, disapointment, fear, anger, worry, sadness), the hope is always there that this will end one day. i'd rather sooner then later. they are my babies and will be my babies until the day i die. i just hope they have their lives together by the time i die.

    some of you would remember that my oldest started being a problem child at a very young age. it all started when she was 13 years old and she was "out there somewhere" for most of her teens so her maturity level is as good as a 13 year old. we weren't able to parent her like we would've loved to because she made sure she wasn't around. she may be 23 but her mentality is that of a young teenager. it's so obvious! so sad. my youngest started the drugs later. she was smoking pot at 14 and it escalated to cocaine at around the age of 16. her older sister got her into the oxys and it went downhill from there.

    the fact of the matter is that i have no idea how to parent these girls at this stage. i want to be with them and at the same time, i don't want to be anywhere near them. i know it sounds horrible and makes no sense, but, that's the way it is.

    i had another talk with my youngest last night. tried AGAIN to get through to her. all i hear is babble and excuses. told her she needs to go to detox and rehab. says she's scared and i get that, but, she still needs to do it. she's got a placer she can go to at any time for free. they are waiting for her call. this all through connections we have. a huge oportunity and she won't take it. this angers me to no end. my hands are tied.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Star I can't even imagine what you're going through and I really feel your pain. I asked my daughter last night to read this and will likely ask some of her friends to read it as well and possibly contribute. My daughter has some really terrific friends so I hope they feel welcome to speak up on this matter because it would help us as parents as well.

    I hope this doesn't come across wrong so please take it for only concern but have you considered the possibility of getting the family together and perhaps having an intervention with a professional onsite?
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    i have thought about it and brought it to the table with my husband. i actually thought of bringing this to canada intervention. hubby's deffinately not for airing this on national TV (the last time i brough tit up) - neither am i but if it will help them, then i'm willing to do it. it's something that i have to bring up again to my husband. we both have to be on board with it or it won't work. a few of my friends brought that up with me. my parents would be on board with it. hubby has to want to do this or it's useless.
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    What an awful predicament to find yourself in.

    If possible look at intervention options without television. Television images will never disappear, and may haunt your grandchildren for years to come. I know that for Erika that is less of a concern (since you are around). I have not seen the televised programme itself, so I can't really comment on the quality of it, and how sensitive it is to the addicted people, and privacy considerations. But those will definitely be on your daughters' minds as well.

    As far as I can see, the programme is dependent on the addicted person wanting to kick the habit, and I am not sure either of your daughters is at that point in their lives in which they are desperate to make positive changes to their lives.

    Getting them to the point that they realize they can still get so much more out of life is the hardest part. It is one thing for them to realize they have made mistakes, but it is another thing to feel that those mistakes do not define their futures.

    Naturally, an intervention is much more likely to be successful if the participants want it to be a success. If your children themselves are ready to be helped, it is definitely worth it to discuss this option with your husband. I am sure the both of you are committed to your children, and want the best for them, but perhaps you are not set on exactly the same route. If your husband is still opposed to this, explore alternative intervention methods.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  20. #20
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    the show is actually very good. they send these people to the best places for treatment and all for free. most of the time it's in a place far far away from home which helps a lot in the recovery process.

    for us, it would only be an hour away in toronto. not far enough in my opinion for a successful recovery. they need to be physically removed from all that they know here to get well. unfortunately, without somethihng as drastic as a public show, won't happen. i know my girls.

    and of course, this wouldn't happen without the girl's approval first. they need to say yes to it. it's a tough decision to make. jsut pondering it at this time.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  21. #21
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    My brother is on Crystal Meth and is currently homeless.

    Someone brought up the possibility of images on television haunting your Grandchildren later? I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you and your husband. The public generally watches this type of show and then they forget about you right after. It's not called '15 minutes of fame' for nothing. Worried about reruns of shows? The only people this will affect is your family, no one else is going to care.

    My sister was also a prostitute that was hopped up on Heroin. She is currently in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the neck down and heavily sedated just to get through the day.

    Get them on the show, this is a horrible illness. I've seen it first hand.


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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    ivyrose, i'm so sorry about your brother and your sister. horrible!!

    i will bring the show up again to my husband. i, personally don't care about airing this on national TV. if it's going to help my kids, then i'm willing to do that. but, i need my husband on board with this also or it won't work. the girls need their dad to be part of it if we do this.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  23. #23
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Star, I haven't been here too much the last week or so and haven't had time to read all that I've missed. I just want you to know I care and will catch up-to-date, and meanwhile, sending your way!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  24. #24
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    Star, I've read this thread and my heart goes out to you!

    It was a huge deal for me dealing with all the alcohol in the family, and I was heading that way, too, but thanks to the Grace of God, I realized the error of my ways. After many years of total not drinking, it was an eye opener for me to know I could take a social drink. Now again, it's total non-drinking and it's just perfectly fine with me.

    I can only imagine what you are going through as I've been keeping up with the Alexandra story on "Dr. Phil" since it began about nine years ago. Three children from three different fathers, and she's in rehab now. Most of the comments from the show never thought it would happen, and everyone told Dr. Phil to just move on, but he never gave up on her. They all tried an intervention but she wasn't ready. She finally called her Mother on her own one day and then the 'Dr. Phil' show arranged for her to go. She's been there a 144 days now according to yesterday's show.

    The parents look like they've aged more than their years and are looking after her three children. She says she won't have her tubes tied as she wants to have more children someday. It's a real family tragedy as everyone suffers.

    I don't know if you've seen it, two episodes back to back Thursday and yesterday. It's heartbreaking to watch everyone trying to deal with the pain of all this all these years.

    I only mention this show as it gives me a bit more understanding about how horrific the drugs are and the spiral downward they create.

    Duke mentions those that he's done some in his younger days, but I was oblivious at the time; not a clue until he told me years later. I wouldn't have known what to do anyway.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  25. #25
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    Re: Parents of children with drug addiction

    i've kept track of the dr. phil family from the very beginning. the similarities with our family and theirs is extremely similar. alexandra reminds me of my oldest to a tee.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

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