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  1. #1
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    Jun 2012
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    Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    Hello there!

    This is a pretty extreme topic, so please bear with me.

    I'm a gay male Catholic and I'm having problems with sexual frustration. I know homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible, but there's nothing I can do to change my orientation. I tried to force myself to like girls, but that brought me severe mental issues and depression. So, I decided to accept who I am and do my best not to offend God any further. I also vowed never to have a boyfriend or marry a man.

    Of course, my sexual frustration built up, so I used masturbation as a release. I did the act frequently for four years and it became an addiction, until I read that masturbation is considered to be a sin as well. To break this addiction, I abstained from the act for more than a month.

    My urge to masturbate is now lessened, but it's still there, and it's eating me alive. I tried to distract myself from sexual thoughts by exercising, doing homework, praying the rosary, etc., but I can still feel the sadness of the thought that I can never have any sexual activity without the danger of going to hell. I really love God, but this burden He gave me is so heavy, and I'm tired. Please help me with my dilemma! Any word of advice would be appreciated!

  2. #2
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    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    Hello and welcome to Lifesupporters.com precursor, nice to have you with us.

    In reading your story, that really is one kitchen sink worth of issues and unfortunately there probably isn't an easy answer to it and even if there were, one portion of the topic may either be uncomfortable or offensive to some people.

    Many people struggle with just one of the three issues you described let alone openly discussing them all together.

    Fortunately I don't so I'll do my best here but I apologize in advance if I muck something up (or if I already have).

    Now, first off, I'm not Religious and I don't understand Religion so my answer is biased in that regard. I understand that idea of faith and the ideology of a "higher power" but I do nut understand "blind faith" nor do I understand constricting one's own desires in the interests of Religion.

    We are all different and because of our individuality, it means we'll all have differing needs from one another. What Religion does is state you can do this but you better not do that; don't even think about that; which is not only fundamentally ridiculous but goes against our own humanity.

    Without going into it too far, if Religion is telling you that your needs are a sin then it's time to either shop a more tolerant Religion or drop it all together IMHO. Notice I said "needs" not "wants".

    I simply cannot help you with the gay or the masturbation portion of you query but believe my original response should cover them with the same brush. You need what you need and if Religion can't afford you some wiggle room then something has to give right?

    I did pass this topic past a friend of mine and he suggested that you maybe try to contact Dan Savage. Apparently he covers topics like this regularly and some of his offerings are surprisingly insightful so I'd encourage you to at least look in that or a similar direction.

    The only other thing I can suggest is for you to look locally for some type of support group and see if there's anyone who's going through similar issues?

    Good luck.
    My Daughter Rules!

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  3. #3
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    Oct 2004
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    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    ok. i know about the catholic religion, as i am a catholic. i also know that our bible does consider being homosexual and masturbating a sin but, having that said, that doesn't mean that you can't be who you are.

    i have a young relative who went through a similar situation. growing up he was told to stop acting like a girl and doing girly things. it affected him terribly and was sad to watch actually. he is also catholic. he decided to live his life the way that makes him happy and feel good in his own skin. he's come out, has boyfriends and seems to be a happier kid now. that didn't change the way that i felt about him. he's a great kid and i love him.

    being a catholic myself, i don't believe that you will not get to go to heaven if you're gay, masterbate or get married to a man. god created the person that you are today right? then he would want you to live your life the way that makes you happy. if you try to change the person that you are inside, you will end up being severely depressed and possibly suicidal. live your life the way god made you to live it and be happy.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    Thank you so much Duke and Star. Your replies made me feel a whole lot better.

    I'm starting to realize that I kept viewing God as a someone who is ruthless and merciless to sinners. I forgot that Jesus wants us to admit that we're sinful by nature and that we'll always need His help. I'll adjust my mindset from now on. As for the religion hopping that Duke said, I've actually considered that option, but now that I realize that it's my mindset that's wrong, I'll stick with my current beliefs.

    Again, thank you Duke and Star for your insights. May God bless you!

  5. #5
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    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    The thanks go to you for sharing my friend and thanks for taking the time to update us on how you'll be progressing; it's always nice to get that level of feedback.

    If at any time you need to bounce more off us or just want to sh00t the sh1t in our more General Forums, feel free, Lifesupporters is your canvas
    My Daughter Rules!

    Band of Others: Are you a Gamer looking for a home, look no more bro!

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  6. #6
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    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    precursor, i am so happy with what you decided to do with your life.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2004
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    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    it is hard to accept that the way you think needs adjustment, especially on such a sensitive topic, so make sure to keep posting about the change and how you're coping with it.

    Balance sounds easy in practice, but to me, it is an everyday battle!

    best of luck,

    twinkle
    the universe is made out of stories, not atoms

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    16

    Re: Gay Catholic needs help with Sexual Addiction!

    Sorry, but I have real issues with religion. i grew up a Jehovah's witness and had to run away from home to get away from that lifestyle. I believe in the philosophy of Christianity and not the idea of it being a faith.

    Religion has been used as a weapon too many times for me to take it seriously as anything more than a control mechanism using guilt and shame to keep it's adherents in line.

    If you love someone and that person loves you. If you both are adults and are in a consensual relationship, you should not be subject to a stern look and a pointing finger by people who have ignored the abuses by their own people.

    I know that religous people seem to have an emptiness in them that can only be filled with religion, or so it seems, but If I were you, I'd follow your heart wherever it leads you. Let others do the same, but what's wrong with religion is it rarely does that.

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