Good therapy for the abused ? does it exist?

[mindscrape]

I have spent 4 years in a Boarding school abroad. Sounds special doesn't it? Not to me. In the 60s boarding school for me was a punishment for not doing well in regular school. It was a little like prison in that living conditions were deplorable. Every meal we would have to fish out pieces of cock roaches out of the food. There were hundreds of boys with little supervision. I personally was teased daily. I developed a serious anxiety disorder. We call it PTSD today but it is worse. I later developed severe depression. I did not do well with the then stereotypical therapies with all their cliches. I felt like pariah. I always wondered why mentally ill people could not be treated with the same dignity that other "sick " people were. The one thing I always hear is that abused people need to "re-parent" Themselves. Abuse definitely stops the maturing process.
Recently I entered a day treatment program run by an amazing administrator. A very compassionate and empathetic man who believed that for the mentally ill to make progress it was important that they be respected. He did far more. He hand picked his employees and only employed those who believed what he did. He created a safe and "family " like atmosphere . So here they were in effect doing the parenting. The therapists were very "invested " in their clients progress. Great place, fantastic human story. For the first time in my life I believed i could change. The kind environment in of itself was healing right away. Unfortunately due to cut backs this wonderful beacon of hope for so many was just cut. Out of gratitude for the dedicated staff I have vowed to continue to carry the torch and tell every one this story and perhaps be an advocate for my fellow sufferers and myself to continue this kind of treatment that all those hurting really deserve.

[BridgieBridge]

Thanks for sharing mindscrape. Hugs. Yes to me it's almost an epidemic these days. So many people deal with depression an anxiety including myself. It is sad that some people look down on it or don't acknowledge the problem bc they can't see it. Fortunately there are more people stepping up and speaking on the matter. It does need awareness brought to it, so kudo's to you, keep on keepin on!

[mindscrape]

Thanks for sharing mindscrape.

You have touched a very passionate subject for me. I have suffered from depression of sorts for over 32 years and it was not until the program I mentioned That I realized how when it comes to mental illness we are still in the dark ages. Yes were are at the bottom of the totem pole. Out of 32 years I got great help for 3 years !! which made me realize that there are so few who really care , and that includes the mental health professionals who for so many years became themselves a big joke. And why? because of the typical cliches and predictable way they practiced their (art). All the while looking down at us.
You see it is not going to get better until we demand it gets better. We need to get political. I wrote the White House. I got a response. Every one who is ill who has enough strength to write a few words need to write to the white house.
For me I am writing it every where on the internet and to politicians,I am sorry but the days of anonymity are over. We have to stop hiding or being anonymous . We did nothing wrong we have nothing to hide. I would love to see a mental health awareness march, yes at first some people might laugh but not for long.

[Jmurph]

I’m also looking for a good therapy or recovery treatment for my daughter. She’s suffering from her addiction because of her anxiety. I’m lucky that I already convinced her to attend some treatment program. I decide that we should move in Tennessee for a change of environment, because I think it will be easy for her to recover if I she will not be surrounded by a lot of temptation. So now I’m currently searching for a good treatment program through internet, I found a lot of sites that provides a useful information about treatment programs (such as this alcohol abuse rehab program). But honestly, I really don’t have knowledge about this kind of treatment, I’m looking forward that you guys might help me with this. Does group meetings really help in recovery? Or may you please suggest a treatment program?

[Luba]

Does group meetings really help in recovery? Or may you please suggest a treatment program?

First of all, Jmurph, I believe unconditional parenting love is first and foremost to help a child in whatever age they are. No one is too old EVER to be loved by parents.

Yes, I DO believe group meetings really help in recovery. Though I've never attended such a group for me, I did have the privilege to attend an AA meeting where a relative was honoured for the long sobriety. Usually they are closed meetings, of course, except when someone is being honoured, than family/friends are asked if they want to attend.

When so many people dealing with alcohol abuse shared their stories and how much my relative had inspired them on their own journey, I can honestly answer that those group meetings indeed help.

Wishing you and your daughter the very BEST, Jmurph, and please keep posting on both of your journeys which definitely will inspire others to help their loved ones or themselves.

[Rosie Sanchez]

Hi Jmurph, well I can tell you from the experience that our daughter is currently having by attending a group meeting means that she feels less alone and doesn't feel as if she's being pre-judged because there are many points of views from other's personal experiences.

I so wish you luck in finding something suitable and I hope the move provides both you and your daughter a respite from the current anxiety/stress your are going through.

[Jmurph]

Hi there Luba and Rosie, thank you for responding and thank you for your advice.
We’re now here in Tennessee, I already found a rehab center but I’m not sure what treatment program is best for my daughter. Hmm.. But since I have read your comment that group meetings really help, I will try it then. I will post here again if ever there’s an improvement about my daughter. Thank you again guys.

[Rosie Sanchez]

Hi there Luba and Rosie, thank you for responding and thank you for your advice.
We’re now here in Tennessee, I already found a rehab center but I’m not sure what treatment program is best for my daughter. Hmm.. But since I have read your comment that group meetings really help, I will try it then. I will post here again if ever there’s an improvement about my daughter. Thank you again guys.

Hi Jmurph

Well done on going through with the move to Tennessee.

You have the first step behind you. The fact your daughter has gone with you shows that she wants to change and whilst it may take a while for her and you to decide which is the best treatment, it has all begun. Count each time she attends as a success, even if she then changes to a different type.

I send you all my wishes for finding a successful therapy and look forward to hearing of how it goes.

[Duke]

Hi Jmurph and mindscrape, my apologies for not posting earlier.

To be perfectly honest my idea of good rehab is any place that is willing to validate your feelings, take the time to understand your motivations while taking the time to actually listen.

You can usually tell who is going to be helpful and who isn't just by simply conversing and paying attention to their responses.

In my opinion, a good therapist is one who listens, gets you to open up a little at a time and who takes time to give thoughtful answers.

If a therapist is simply waiting for you to stop talking so they can start I'd simply run in the other direction, fast.

[Luba]

Wishing the very best for you and your daughter, Jmurph! It sounds to me like things are happening already. Being willing to listen to her and, once she feels you're totally loving and caring, may help her to open up more to you. Children know when their parents are totally watching their backs, and looking out for them, is the best medicine one could ever hope to find.

[Jmurph]

I appreciate all your support and wishes for me and my daughter. Your words has been inspiring me to be a good father. My daughter is getting well now, the therapy she's taking in Today Rehab Recovery Place has been teaching her a lot of healthy ways to cope with her cravings and lately, her moods and emotions are improving. I've been joining her in a family counseling and it makes our relationship closer and more open. Though, I can say that the process is still difficult, I can see her commitment in her recovery. I believe in her, she's going to pass this. God bless you all.

[Rosie Sanchez]

Though, I can say that the process is still difficult, I can see her commitment in her recovery. I believe in her, she's going to pass this.

Dear Jmurph

Am so delighted to hear that you're journey with your daughter is underway and you are both already seeing results. They say "truth hurts" but it does make us stronger.

I wish you much continued success for you as a family.

[Luba]

I appreciate all your support and wishes for me and my daughter. Your words has been inspiring me to be a good father. My daughter is getting well now, the therapy she's taking in Today Rehab Recovery Place has been teaching her a lot of healthy ways to cope with her cravings and lately, her moods and emotions are improving. I've been joining her in a family counseling and it makes our relationship closer and more open. Though, I can say that the process is still difficult, I can see her commitment in her recovery. I believe in her, she's going to pass this. God bless you all.

Your wonderful post brought me to happy tears, Jmurph! Once again it shows what commitment, support and love from a parent/s can bring to a suffering child! Bless you and your daughter, Jmurph!

Please keep us posted on your inspiring journey with you and your daughter. I truly believe it will help others who look in on Lifesupporters.