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Thread: My Story...

  1. #26
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    Oct 2012
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    Montgomery,IL
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    Re: My Story...

    I love getting photos of him. It really makes my day, when I check my email and see his moms email address popup.

  2. #27
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    Jun 2005
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    Somewhere over the rainbow!
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    Re: My Story...

    Quote Originally Posted by donnyfann View Post
    I love getting photos of him. It really makes my day, when I check my email and see his moms email address popup.
    It's awesome that she sends regular photos.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  3. #28
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    Oct 2012
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    Montgomery,IL
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    Re: My Story...

    Oh yeah. I know it won't always be like that, but for now I'm enjoying it. I did have a little bit of a bad moment with her about two weeks ago though. She had his baptism and I wasn't invited. I was a little pissed off about that, she didn't even tell me that she was doing it. I would just like to be informed about little milestones like that. I let her know that and she was fine with that. But missing his baptism, made me realize all of the other things I'm gonna miss. But that's how it is with adoption, you have to learn to let go of things like that.

  4. #29
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    Mar 2005
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    Re: My Story...

    As much as you can try to remain part of his life, you're not going to enjoy all the milestones. Even though you rationally understand that things will change, I do get the impression that you are not yet emotionally ready for that. Which is completely understandable.

    It is difficult to reconcile yourself with that. It may sound cruel and cold, but you have to focus on your own life and making the most of it. I think it will really help you when life picks up for you (work-wise, socially), so that your child will not be as prominent on your mind.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  5. #30
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    Oct 2012
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    Montgomery,IL
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    Re: My Story...

    I think you're right. I think about him constantly. If I had something to occupy my time, I would think about him less, and the sting of not knowing things would go away.

  6. #31
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    oklahoma
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    6,161

    Re: My Story...

    It sounds like you made the right choice even though it was a tough one. I am adopted, I can only imagine what it was like to do the right thing and give the baby up.


  7. #32
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    Oct 2012
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    Montgomery,IL
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    Re: My Story...

    I honestly didn't think it was gonna be as hard as it was. I thought I could be very strong and not even look back. I kept telling myself throughout my pregnancy, that I was doing the right thing and that I was strong enough to do it. But the minute he was born, and I saw him, I loved him, and didn't know how I was gonna be able to let him go. He looked just like me, and I was flooded with so much emotion. But in the end I knew it was the right decision for me and my baby. I don't have a stable environment in which I can even raise a baby, plus I don't want to be a single mom. Also I have been wanting to go back to school for a while now, I never would be able to do that with a baby. I look at the pictures I get of him, and I see how happy he is. They have given him a complete family, and I never would have been able to give him that.

  8. #33
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    Jul 2008
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    Re: My Story...

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. It's really deep. I have a daughter, 5 now, and at the time of being pregnant i too had contemplated adoption. It's a really tough choice to make. In the end i chose to keep my daughter. I am glad i did, my life is a bit complicated but i am thankful to have her with me. It's a tough choice to make and unfortunate any of us ever have to make it, but we have to do what we have to do, for what feel's right to us. It's a selfless choice. Have you ever seen this tv show came on tv, on mtv about teen girls being pregnant? Their was this girl Caitlin she adopted out her baby, she also found a support group to go to on the matter's, to help her with all her thoughts. Is there anything like this around you? Not saying that you need it, but it seemed to have been really helpful for her. To be able to discuss with other's who were going through the same thing.
    " To thy own self be true..."

  9. #34
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    Oct 2012
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    Montgomery,IL
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    Re: My Story...

    I want to start going to a support group, I know it would help me out a lot. I am ok with my decision most of the time, but there is always something that sets me off crying. Whether it be a song I hear, or his mom telling me about his baptism... It makes me realize what I'm gonna miss. I know I made the right decision. I know I never could have raised him on my own.

  10. #35
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    Jul 2004
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    Re: My Story...

    That's a really powerful story donnyfan and my apologies for chiming in so late, I've been a bit of a ghost around here.

    I was amazed in reading your story that your mom didn't know you were pregnant, surely there must have been at least some signs lol.

    I think what I like most about your story though is that you removed emotion from a very tough decision and made what I believe to be the best decision for your child. I truly admire you for doing what you did because it could not have been easy.

    You may have to learn to let go a bit in the interests of self preservation because as the child grows there just may not be the time for you in his life. His parents are going to want to be his parents so the chances are, they'll make many more decisions without your knowledge down the road.
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  11. #36
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    Oct 2012
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    Re: My Story...

    It's not that she didn't know... everyone in my family suspected, but they were waiting for me to tell them. Plus my mom doesn't really notice anything, unless it has to do with her. I wasn't very big either. I carried mostly in my stomach. I didn't gain a whole lot of wait. I really tried to keep my emotions in check when making my decision. I'm not sure now if that was the right thing to do. I never wanted to let myself get attached to the baby. I didn't really want to get excited when I heard his heartbeat, or seeing him on the ultrasound. But once he was born, all of the emotions I had been suppressing, had come flooding up, and I couldn't stop crying. I didn't want to let him go.

  12. #37
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    Jul 2008
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    Re: My Story...

    Despite what you think or feel i think there is something magical and something changes when a mother looks at her child for the first time. I think all your feelings are very natural. It would be great if you could find a support group, to connect and make new friends and be able to relate through one another with similar experiences. I just see alot of positives in it for you.
    " To thy own self be true..."

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