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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    1

    The Separation is My Idea

    Just have a moment to stop in and introduce myself. I've been married for almost 9 years and have two boys, ages 6 and 3. I no longer have any physical attraction whatsoever to my husband. I don't think it's fair to either of us to stay married. He has been controlling, disrespectful, and has drank too much throughout our marriage. I asked for a separation last month after having asked for him to treat me nicer for years. He has finally JUST started making the changes I've been asking for but it's way too little, way too late. At this point, I can't even stand for him to touch me at this point.

    I hope for an amicable separation. I am disabled from a broken ankle for the next year probably, and I've not worked since we married. I'd love to hear from anyone in any similar situation, or just anyone who wants to say hi.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    The Cloud of Unknowing
    Posts
    17,198

    Re: The Separation is My Idea

    Hi, welcome to the forums.

    I think you will be in for quite a ride. Separations never really pan out like we imagine them. Whether that is because of all the heart strings being pulled or things developing in a nasty way. So don't imagine it will be easy.

    Also, even if you don't want to divorce, it is a good idea to check with a lawyer, since there are quite a few things that need to be sorted. Custody / access to children, possible maintenance, etc.. Some states may even have some quirky laws on the book, which could cost you and your children quite a bit.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,209

    Re: The Separation is My Idea

    I don't know where you live, but Target and Wal-Mart are suggested places to work for displaced housewives. It's just a way to get your feet wet in starting all over in the workforce. I would suggest Target, they are more woman and disabled persons friendly.

    Getting a job will take your mind off of this tragedy and you may actually meet someone new in the process of getting back on your feet, quite literally. I wish you luck in all that you do.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    1

    Re: The Separation is My Idea

    I work day to day with people separating and planning to divorce, it's a long hard battle and as pointed out by Vautrin, things often don't go to plan! I wish you luck on your journey!

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