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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1

    going through seperation possible devorce

    I am recently going through a seperation with my husband. We have been together for 20 years. We were teenagers when we meet and I got pregnat. We now have 5 kids together between ages of 9-19.I'm so confused I've been a stay at home mom all this time and can't seem to get a job. So I enrolled back in school. But then he moved back in after 2 months. I don't know why because he ain't wanting to fix it. But he says he pays the bills so he can. This is so stressful on not only me but my kids. They been acting out and for me I am so depressed because I have to see him daily and he is so cold to me. We hardle talk. Then I have to see him come home at all hours of the night. I'm struggling because I can't seem to get a job and on top of that I have bad social anxiety. So I can't support my kids if we leave. Is anyone going through anything like this? Don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,312

    Re: going through seperation possible devorce

    Before I read thread, dortega, I want to Welcome you to Lifesupporters. I just want you to know that there will be a reply/replies to you, and please just keep checking back. Sometimes we're not here in a timely manner to help and it seems there are no replies immediately. I want to assure you that there will be, whether it be a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on. You are not alone!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,312

    Re: going through seperation possible devorce

    Quote Originally Posted by dortega View Post
    I am recently going through a seperation with my husband. We have been together for 20 years. We were teenagers when we meet and I got pregnat. We now have 5 kids together between ages of 9-19.I'm so confused I've been a stay at home mom all this time and can't seem to get a job. So I enrolled back in school. But then he moved back in after 2 months. I don't know why because he ain't wanting to fix it. But he says he pays the bills so he can. This is so stressful on not only me but my kids. They been acting out and for me I am so depressed because I have to see him daily and he is so cold to me. We hardle talk. Then I have to see him come home at all hours of the night. I'm struggling because I can't seem to get a job and on top of that I have bad social anxiety. So I can't support my kids if we leave. Is anyone going through anything like this? Don't know what to do.
    My heart goes out to you and your family, dortega!

    My only advice is to handle what you can yourself. It's positive that you have gone back to school, that is great and it would be a good idea to give yourself credit for that. Sometimes when the rug is pulled out from under us, we can't see anything positive happening anywhere and life starts to totally fall apart. It shows to me, also, that you have strength, and I say that because you are finding ways to move ahead, even with trying to get a job. Keep trying, send resumes, take them in personally, and hold your head high, and even smile even if it's the last thing you want to do. We all have inner strength, and we don't seem to give ourselves enough credit, especially if we feel we are undermined at every turn. THAT'S when it's crucial to show what we're made of, could be a huge turning point, which most always, IS!

    Your children have been acting out probably because their world has turned upside down. They see their world falling apart and being children, don't know how to cope and are coping how they can, by acting out. Maybe sitting down with them and telling them that you are looking for strength and will do everything in your power to help them. Ask them to keep the communication open, talking about problems helps even if there don't seem to be solutions right away.

    As for your husband, he did return for whatever reason, he's there. You can use that to be civil to him whether he is or not. Putting more pressure into the situation will only make it worse. See if you can be 'friendly' or kind to him even if every fiber of your being is screaming not to. Sometimes it just takes one person to be the strong one, to be the kind one. People react more peacefully to kindness than confrontation.

    Please keep returning to tell us anything you need to, that's hurting you, or just need someone to listen and try to help.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    711

    Re: going through seperation possible devorce

    Welcome to Life Supporters, dortega.

    You're in a difficult situation, but not an impossible one. You're going back to school, that is an amazing first step! Being in college helps with the social anxiety, I know this from experience. Being a non-traditional college student will give you a great deal of self confidence. Grab on to that and use it to pull yourself up.

    As far as looking for a job, look around in your area for a career center. They help people make job contacts, build resumes, and practice interviewing.

    I wish you luck! Please come back to Life Supporters for anything, even if it's just for an escape from reality for a bit! This place has been her for me for many years now, no matter how long I go between posts.
    STOP MOUNTAIN TOP REMOVAL

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    23

    Re: going through seperation possible devorce

    If you can read this, as much as i understand your pain please remember this.

    "This too shall come to pass."

    Keep faith and keep walking.

    Hope you would come back and let us know with your status.

    Sincerely.
    Life Should Be Adventures... Embrace Fear

    www.entrepreneur-life.com

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1

    Re: going through seperation possible devorce

    I realize its been a while since this post? I would love to respond...but I feel and udate would be good..if you are willing to share. So that advice/support can be given to you CURRENT circumstances... I will await your reply if it happens.:-) A have some commonalities... had kids young... together 9 years... seperated 10 mos now. Single mom... but active co parent still. Awkward and difficult seeing their father every day. Love to share....

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