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Thread: Parental Regrets
08-15-2013, 07:59 PM #1
Do any of you parents have regrets when it comes to raising your children? Are there any specific examples of what you could have done better and now reflect on with a bit of sadness?
I ask because my child is now grown and since I don't see her as much I have a lot of time to reflect on the past 18 years as her father.
I've done a lot of great things that I'm very proud of but there have been some blemishes on this record and these seem to hit pretty hard.
Anyway, please share your experiences as a parent and any regrets you may have.
If they help even one person be a better parent then we've done a great service.
08-15-2013, 10:22 PM #2
Re: Parental Regrets
My kids are grown, one married. They have never said anything but one thing I regret is not doing more with them as a family, like camping or fishing or going places fun for kids. It was always they are too young or no vacation from work. My dad used to take us kids fishing just about every weekend when it was nice out. It is the best memories I have with my parents but mostly my dad. He also used to go hunting with my brothers. I wish he would have lived long enough to teach me how to shoot and hunt. But I was 9 when he died, too young to take hunting in his mind I am sure. I guess that is my main regret. I am sure if I think about it more I will come up with parenting things I regret too but they turned out alright so I guess we did some things right. A lot depends on the kids too. You can be golden in the parent department but still have a kid that turns out not so good. As well as the other way around. I wouldn't dwell too much on it. You can't change it and from what I know of you and how you have been with your daughter you are one damn good dad. Chin up Duke.The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to the office. (Robert Frost)
08-16-2013, 08:57 AM #3
Re: Parental Regrets
For a change, I will keep my reply short and to-the-point.
I've had many regrets in my life about how we raised our boys. It would have been so easy to fall into a depression if I kept dwelling on regrets. My final solution came when I realized that regret does nothing but keep one down, but learning from regrets and moving forward is what I chose/choose to do. I can't change the past but I can learn from it and move forward. What has helped me considerably is talking to our sons about the mistakes made and showing them we aren't perfect, just humans with human failings, and good stuff, too. If whatever I failed in my parental role, our sons knew/know everyday of their life how much they are loved, admired, and respected for the good men they grew up to be!Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
who’s getting the better of the deal.
Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise
~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia
08-16-2013, 12:20 PM #4
Re: Parental Regrets
I'm not actually depressed about it at all but seeing as how my daughter is only recently (within the past year) seeing me less and less (24 hours or less every 5 to 6 weeks) I can't help reflect on opportunities missed now that they no longer exist.
I think it's normal to feel how I'm feeling right now and while there is regret in some cases, I know I did the best I could when I had her. I dropped many bad habits instantly in becoming a father some aspects going right to the core of who I was back then.
I find this topic interesting because there are so many clues in society today that many parents often don't do enough. I think of all my daughters friends and how many are not close to their parents and shudder with how they feel about one parent or the other, in many cases both.
The other thing about parental regrets that I find interesting is if new parents were to read some of the regrets from those of us with grown kids, maybe they'll learn to appreciate their children more. It's amazing how much I never really understood "don't sweat the small stuff" until now.
One thing they don't tell you about being a parent is your life will change forever twice, once when your children are growing with you and once they've left you.
08-16-2013, 11:43 PM #5
Re: Parental RegretsThe brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to the office. (Robert Frost)
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