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  1. #26
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vautrin View Post
    Sounds promising . Let's hope it woks out.
    I wish the same, too!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  2. #27
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    Oct 2004
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Thanks for the well wishes, y'all!!

    So, New Guy and I decided that there just wasn't enough chemistry between us. We're planning on remaining friends, for what that's worth. He's an awesome guy and we got a long well, but it felt like I was hanging out with a friend. No zsa zsa zu I guess you can say. Maybe I watch too many romantic comedies or read to many books with dashing and charismatic men in them... but I think that there are too many mediocre things in life as it is. Love and relationships shouldn't be one of them! lol

    However, I have met this one fella that is sweeping me off my feet!! He lives almost an hour and a half away from me, which makes it difficult at times... but it's so worth the wait for each weekend to get here!! I want to gush about it, but I don't want to jinx it. LOL So, I'll just say this... HE IS AMAZING!!!

    STOP MOUNTAIN TOP REMOVAL

  3. #28
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Good luck Ayla. Wishing you the best with this new guy.
    The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to the office. (Robert Frost)

  4. #29
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Shame it did not work out with the last one, but that happens. Good luck with the new guy. Hope it works out.

    Oh, and careful about being swept off your feet - the landing can hurt
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  5. #30
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    Oct 2004
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Summary of my life recently: DRAMA.

    The guy who swept me off my feet? Well Vautrin you were right! The landing hurts! LOL His mom died from brain cancer and it was like a switch flipped in his head. His entire personality changed. He was withdrawn and didn't seem interested in seeing me or having any contact with me. So, I tell him I think it's best he takes some time to heal and maybe when he's in a better place we would try again. He proceeds to say that he doesn't want to loose me and apologized for being so cold and tells me he's falling in love with me and starts to act halfway decent again. I mean before that for like two weeks he was a cold a-hole. He was still acting a bit odd but I figured he was still grieving.

    Remember the guy friend who was so negative during TDH thing? Well he takes it upon himself to create a fake profile on POF and messages dude. Within 30 minutes dude was trying to exchange numbers with the chick and told her that he'd went on a few dates from the POF site but hadn't met anyone that he clicked with. So, my friend takes screen caps and sends them to me at like 7am. Of course I text him and tell him he was an a-hole and he accuses me of making a fake profile and claimed he knew it was fake and was just yanking their chain. All lies. He then spends two days trying to make me feel bad for what happened even though it wasn't my fault. Finally I just cut him loose. If there's this much drama in the two months I have known him, how much drama will there be in the long term? No thanks.

    The guy that I went out with before that? We stayed friends and we chat all the time on Facebook statuses. He sent a message to me a few weeks ago asking me if we could just be friends with benefits. I tell him no and now he's being weird.

    I've had coffee a couple of times with a dude named Toby. He's nice enough and I'll give him a shot but so far I'm not too impressed. We have a lot of mutual friends and we went to the same high school but he's 8 years older than me so I didn't know him before though. I'm also having dinner with a guy Tuesday night. He's not the kind of guy I'm usually attracted too, but he's got a good personality. He boxes, and wants to teach me to box. Could be fun.

    My friend who made the fake profile has been very hateful about all of this. He thinks I shouldn't be dating at all. He says I should focus on school and my daughter and not date. He says it's an un-needed stress. He is such a good friend to me, but he really gives me hell over dating and I don't understand it. He chooses not to date and thinks that I shouldn't either.

    So, there you have it. My drama update.
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  6. #31
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    So sorry to hear about all the drama.

    Online dating can be tricky - a lot of people seem to have this need to upgrade as quickly as possible. And as it is seemingly easy to deceive, lots of people try that. And fail. It is really not for the faint of heart.

    I am not sure how hectic your life is at the moment. If it is a bit on the hectic side, to the point of overwhelming you, I would just keep a low profile for now. You put yourself out there. As you discovered dating comes with a fair bit of drama. If your life is not too chaotic, then there is no reason to stop trying - but try to learn from your experiences, so that you don't end up getting burnt time and again.

    Good luck, and hope things work out for you .
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  7. #32
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    It definitely is not for the faint of heart.

    I've been noticing a trend, both with the men I have gone out with and the ones I have just talked with. They seem to hoard women, so to speak. They talk to and go out with a woman just enough to string her a long, and they'll have anywhere from 3-12 different women they're doing this with! Not just on POF either, these guys are on multiple dating websites. I don't get it.
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  8. #33
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Well, part of it is hedging their bets, part of it is comparing across the 3-12 people, and pick the best one. Then there might be a few who are not able / willing to sustain longterm relationships, and play along for / in the hope of physical benefits.
    The problem is, even if these people are hedging their bets in fear of "crazy", their behaviours wholly justify "crazy". Now, of course if more than a few percent of the people behave in such ways, everyone is becoming jaded, and this can feed a negative cycle, leaving the majority of people, even with noble intentions, burned.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  9. #34
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    When I did dating websites I did that, because you never know when a few might not work out and you are down to 1 or 2.


  10. #35
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    I don't take issue with talking to more than one person. I just don't get talking to and dating multiple women for months at a time. One guy I went out with had been going out with a woman for 6 months, seeing her roughly every other week. She was the one he had been seeing the longest but there were, and still are, others that he's been out with multiple times as well. One thing I can say about him, is he's up front about it. He says he wants a relationship but to me, refusing to call yourself in a relationship with someone you like well enough to see for 6 months is kind of ridiculous.
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  11. #36
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Hehe... I'm sorta cynical about men anyway, but in my experience, they all like variety. The really sad thing is, a lot of married people use those dating sites to spice up their romantic life now. (Married women do this too, but men do it far more often.)

    According to the relatives I have that are men, you can love more than one person at a time and you don't have to marry or live with everyone you love. They've all been married at least twice and have cheated repeatedly. Our family tree reads like "Melrose Place."



  12. #37
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Does that mean it is worse or less worse than the Bold & the Beautiful?



    It never hurts to talk. And if you have to spend hours upon hours on the getting-to-know-but-before-you-meet-stage, a lot of them will drop out. Nothing weeds out scammers like their own impatience. (Though some are really persistent).
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  13. #38
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Wishing you the Best, Ayla!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  14. #39
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vautrin View Post
    Does that mean it is worse or less worse than the Bold & the Beautiful?



    It never hurts to talk. And if you have to spend hours upon hours on the getting-to-know-but-before-you-meet-stage, a lot of them will drop out. Nothing weeds out scammers like their own impatience. (Though some are really persistent).
    LOL! I haven't watched the Bold & the Beautiful yet. It's not on Netflix that I can find and I'm not purchasing their DVDs. I just happened to finish a 3 week jam-packed marathon of watching "Melrose Place" on Netflix the other day. It's sort of like watching a very long movie. Then I stumbled upon "Melrose 2.0," and wow, all the children that popped up from the *hump fests* of the original "Melrose Place" felt like home.



    Be careful of persistent suitors too, Ayla. A couple of those turned out to be obsessed psychopaths on my travels. It's just a scary world out there. Everyone wants something and it's not always to bask in eternal healthy love, unfortunately.


  15. #40
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Quote Originally Posted by IvyRose View Post
    Be careful of persistent suitors too, Ayla. A couple of those turned out to be obsessed psychopaths on my travels. It's just a scary world out there. Everyone wants something and it's not always to bask in eternal healthy love, unfortunately.

    THAT is my biggest fear of online dating. Back in the first part of December I talked to a guy a while on the app then texted with him and then added him to facebook. He's one of those people who TEXT CONSTANTLY I fell asleep one evening and didn't respond for a couple of hours. When I woke up I commented on something on facebook before answering him and dude flips out messaging me on facebook wanting to know why I'm ignoring his texts. Okay fella, I've known you for a little more than a week and have not actually even met you and you're going nutso already? No thanks. So I blocked him on facebook and the dating app and I blocked his number on my phone. Just yesterday I was deleting some of my voicemail and notice that under deleted voicemails there is a "blocked voicemail" section. I tap on it and there is one in there from this guy from back on December 17th, right after I had blocked him. I listened to it and it creeped me out big time. He was talking low and had a very menacing tone telling me I didn't know what I was losing by doing what I did and then the call starting cutting in and out and I couldn't understand the rest. Majorly creeped me out.
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  16. #41
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Well, at least you figured out that the guy thought the universe was (insert his name)-centric.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  17. #42
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    Re: Dating stinks. FACT.

    Thankfully, I didn't waste months before finding that information out.
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