big problems

[tradtke]

Its going to be very had to keep this short, but I'll try, I need some serious help though. Here are the combined stress factors in me and my wife's life.
1. three years of IVF and we finally have not one, but twins on the way.
2. I just had brain surgery to hopefully stop my brain surgery
3. my insane schedule, between working 2 jobs, one of which is law enforcement, which in its self is stressful.
4. Money, (although this is not uncommon, it just adds to the pot)
5. We have been married for 7 years, during those years I've been laid off twice and tension just seems to be building.

I welcomed this year in with brain surgery. All I remember from the actual surgery is "breath into this mask" which is fine with me, but the recovery has been killing me. Every night I have dreams and they feel like their the type of dreams that make no sense, but then you read between the lines and OOOOO, thats what they telling me. I'm not sure why, but this recovery has made me see things in a new lights. Emotions are much stronger. I feel like I am pulling a couple hundred lbs of rocks and am carrying a burden that feels so real. I have this feeling like I just want to escape to get this burden off my shoulder. I'm 100% convinced that these emotions are caused from the surgery because they have never been so strong, some i've never felt at all. It would be so much easier to decide what to do if we didn't have twins on the way. Before the surgery I had a very busy life and I liked it that way and now, with the snap of the finger I can't drive, lift more than 10 lbs and pretty much just sit around the house. For anyone else you would think time away from work like that would be a dream, but it's killing me. Next week will be 3 weeks and even though the doc suggests 6 weeks off i'm going to try to go back at 4 weeks.

I'm worried that these emotions won't change and I don't know what the hell to do then.

[IvyRose]

I'd say you're going through a deep depression, mostly due to recovery from a surgery. Give it time, you'll start to heal and feel better.

The other part of your depression is the overwhelming excitement from getting what you want, (the twins.) You and your wife have been trying to have children for a very long time and this type of joy can unfortunately cause depression. Everyone has doubts after they get what they think they want.

As for layoffs and money struggles, everyone goes through that. If they don't, they are the rare few of extremely lucky individuals. If your wife is giving you grief over getting laid off, tell her to go get a job. If she already has a job, tell her to make more money. :-)

Rest, you just had surgery. Stop stressing, it makes the healing process go slower.