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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2014

    Unhappy Support and Advice PLEASE

    Where to start.... I was dating a guy for 3 years that lived 2 hours away, for the past year and a half he has lived with me but was unable to find a job in our current city so I would take him back to his hometown every so often to work. Last Sunday he asked I take him back to work and visit his family, so he packed for a week and I took him back. Monday 30 minutes after I got to work I get a phone call from the police saying my door was kicked in. I race home to find my 10 year olds game systems were stolen(thank goodness for my alarm they didnt get more). Im calling and calling my boyfriend to tell him the news but he wouldn't answer all I got was a text saying "im working". Well, when I finally got in touch he told me he loved me more than anything, thought the world of me and my son but he wouldn't be coming back because he doesn't want a relationship right now he needs to be by himself and figure out what he wants to do for a career. So monday I was robbed and had my heart torn out and stomped on. I love this man with all my heart and he was talking about wanting to get married and start a family with me just a week prior to this. Wednesday I get a call that my uncle passed away. I have not been able to eat since last Sunday 2/16, Thursday I started to feel like my heart was racing checked my blood pressure and ive been in pre hypertension since.....checked my blood pressure about 30 min ago and it was 120/88. I had a rough week! Tomorrow will be one week without eating. Ive never had my heart broken like this and I really need advice! I cant stop thinking of him, missing him, wanting him. I was told to get out and keep my mind busy but when im out I see happy couples.....think of him......hear a song, see a truck like his, smells I mean EVERYTHING reminds me of him. I cant get my mind around not having him but I have to get over this before I end up sick and cant take care of my son. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Re: Support and Advice PLEASE

    You need to see a doctor right away. Tell the doctor about your crisis situation and hopefully he can refer you to a counselor that will give you steps to ending these symptoms of crisis mode.

    Your boyfriend feels like a failure right now. Him ending things has nothing to do with not loving you. He can't love you the way he wants to without having the money to support you the way you deserve to be supported. It may take months for you to accept this. (Some say it takes 2 years to completely get over someone.) You need to think of this as the wrong time frame for you both and not a failed encounter. It takes a lot of time to heal. Take comfort in knowing that he is hurting just as bad right now. You're not alone.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004

    Re: Support and Advice PLEASE

    I agree with Ivy, I think that his actions have more to do with his own internal struggles than you. I went out with a guy last night who told me that he almost canceled our date because he was upset with himself for not having found a job yet. So, he was going to cancel as a "punishment" to himself. Now, had he canceled he would most likely not have told me the real reason why. He'd have made up some excuse and left me wondering what really happened. I tell you this so that you can realize that some men indeed do things like end relationships because of internal conflict. Maybe he feels like a mooch. Or unworthy of you because he cannot seem to find work.

    You should definitely seek counseling with as much as you've dealt with this week. There is no shame in talking to someone and letting them help you cope. The fact that it's someone who doesn't really know you and won't be judging you for what you say will help immensely.

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