feel so alone

**insurancegal** · 03-23-2014, 05:03 PM

1st time I have ever posted on this site!! My husband left me on Thursday. I have never felt so alone and scared. We have been together for 15 years! He said we were more like room mates than husband and wife.

I snooped around on his iPad yesterday and managed to connect his text messages to his iPad so I could see who was texting him. Surprise a girl was texting him. pretty sure he found out what I was up to as I came home last night and he had come to the house and took the iPad!

Thank god we have no kids but we do have a dog that I insisted I keep. He was ok with that.

My question for all you out there….. when does this pain start to fade? I can't stop crying, I can't eat! I have lost 8 pounds 4 days!

**Luba** · 03-23-2014, 05:59 PM

Welcome to Lifesupporters, insurancegal, where you will find some kind folk that will help you through this with caring, compassion, and a kind shoulder to lean on. I'm so sorry for your circumstances.

You are grieving, and need to do it until it ends. It's different for everyone. It really helps to talk to kind people who care; family, friends, or here like you are sharing now.

May I ask if you've been taken totally by surprise or that you had some inkling he wasn't happy in the marriage? Has he discussed any of this before or tried to work it out? Do you want him back or do you want to let him go if it seems he has 'other interests'?

Keep coming back as you will find kindness and understanding here even though we are a small community, but a caring one.

**insurancegal** · 03-23-2014, 06:59 PM

It all started about 3 weeks ago when he went out with a friend to a pub. He never got home until 1:00 and didn't think anything of it. Since the night he went out he has been very cold with me, no hugs, kisses or even talking to me. The looks he gave me you could tell something wasn't right.

I do want him back. He's been in my life for so long I can't imagine life without him and yet I'm being forced to experience the pain without him.

This is the toughest thing I have ever had to endure and it feels impossible for me to cope!

**Luba** · 03-23-2014, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by insurancegal

It all started about 3 weeks ago when he went out with a friend to a pub. He never got home until 1:00 and didn't think anything of it. Since the night he went out he has been very cold with me, no hugs, kisses or even talking to me. The looks he gave me you could tell something wasn't right.

I do want him back. He's been in my life for so long I can't imagine life without him and yet I'm being forced to experience the pain without him.

This is the toughest thing I have ever had to endure and it feels impossible for me to cope!

Maybe you can have a heart-to-heart talk with him without excessive emotion. When there are problems like this, some men don't handle deep emotion from women, they just shut down and not talk. The same could be true about when women leave, but in my reading experience it's been mostly men that find it hard to talk to an emotional woman who gets terribly angry, upset, and then the bad situation escalates and then there is no talking at all.

Just try to cope a minute, an hour, a day at a time. Don't look too far ahead. Just try to take one situation at a time. May I ask if you have a job and have good friends there to talk with? Family or good friends you have gone out with?

It is a Blessing that there are no children involved and that's a good thing as that would be even harder to cope with, their emotions and all.

Try to use your built-in strength. We all have it and only when we do survive or live through a situation like this, do we realize that. If you realize how strong you are and have been in your life, that will help exceedingly.

By being honest with him and asking him to talk with you honestly and openly, it will help you both through a difficult situation. Maybe whoever he has been connecting with has 'entranced' him, for lack of a better word.

On another note, has he seemed bored lately, stressed, unhappy with his job, or something else that has been bothering him? Have you two been able to communicate before? If you have, that is a bonus, too. You can kindly tell him you deserve to know what is going on, he is not in this relationship by himself, you are there, too, and deserve respect.

**Glenn Rice** · 06-11-2014, 04:59 AM

Hi insurancegal!

First, how are you now? It’s been almost 3 months since that happens. The pain will not easy to subside, after all, 15 years is not a joke. We’re in the same boat. I lost my girl last January this year. We’ve been together for three years. I can say she’s the perfect girl for me, my dream girl, the one I like to bring in altar someday. But life is not always a fairy tale. There are a times you must let go someone even the closest one in our heart. That’s the cruel and the hardest thing in our life. We hurt so much because we have lost a part of ourselves. If we have loved much, we must have given much also, and when everything's over, we feel as though we have lost everything. But it is our wounds that make us strong. If someone leaves, let it be, one thing for sure, there are a lot of person who are willing to enter into our life. Just learn to accept the fact and move on. That’s the rule.

Now, for your question, There are many things to ease the pain you experiencing now. Make yourself busy. Do crazy things you never did before when you are with him. Go out with friends. Meet some new people.

I know it’s easier said than done. But if you want to forget something, do something.