Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    1

    Red face I'm confused, stress and needing some help!!

    I met this military guy thru dating site a couple of months ago. He invited me out for dinner after 3 weeks of exchanging text messages. We got along pretty quick. We met again and again until he decided he wants us to exclusively date each other. I like him a lot coz he talks a whole lot, anything and everything you can imagine of. After a couple of months he told me, he is leaving to study in Oklahoma this October and he didn't want a Long distance relationship. I asked him if this relationship is worth to try and he said he is not sure, but he is sure enough that LDR is a big no for him. He came out from a bad LDR breakup, by the way! Having said that, we broke up but i insisted that we could still talk and see each other even if we are out of the relationship already. So, the communication is back but it changed a lot, like we could still see and text each other but NO STRINGS ATTACHED. It pains me to feel like crap. I hate feeling like need to beg for his attention everyday. It pains me to know he went out with his friends and i'm left out..
    Pls help me what to do!! I've been crying everyday coz i want this pain to go away! I want him but it's killing me! Pls help!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    17

    Re: I'm confused, stress and needing some help!!

    It must have been hurtful to you. But just like he said, he doesn't want a LDR and you broke up already so I think it's time for you to accept that you can no longer be together. I know it's hard and it pains you a lot but you should move on. Try not to communicate with him because it might just cause more pain. Focus with yourself, make your life busy and do interesting things. It's just an advice for me, it's all up to you in the end. Just be strong.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    4

    Re: I'm confused, stress and needing some help!!

    I happen to agree with Terjon.as hard as it seems cutting contact would be best for you in the long run. yes it will be difficult but in the long run you'll be saving yourself a lot of heartache.

    how are you coping btwxxx

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,806

    Re: I'm confused, stress and needing some help!!

    It's too early to feel badly in a new relationship so I'd walk now and not look back.

    He clearly seems to want to break all ties so I'd do the same if I were you.

    The energy you're wasting in feeling blue could be better used put toward someone who clearly cares about you.

    If he cared enough he'd do anything to talk to you, he doesn't so neither should you.
    My Daughter Rules!

    Band of Others: Are you a Gamer looking for a home, look no more bro!

    Ofear.com: Confronting fears, phobias, and panic attacks, in a friendly online community.

    Movie Talk: Like discussing movies, tv and streaming media, well so do we.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,312

    Re: I'm confused, stress and needing some help!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheisfunbutsheisnottheone View Post
    I met this military guy thru dating site a couple of months ago. He invited me out for dinner after 3 weeks of exchanging text messages. We got along pretty quick. We met again and again until he decided he wants us to exclusively date each other. I like him a lot coz he talks a whole lot, anything and everything you can imagine of. After a couple of months he told me, he is leaving to study in Oklahoma this October and he didn't want a Long distance relationship. I asked him if this relationship is worth to try and he said he is not sure, but he is sure enough that LDR is a big no for him. He came out from a bad LDR breakup, by the way! Having said that, we broke up but i insisted that we could still talk and see each other even if we are out of the relationship already. So, the communication is back but it changed a lot, like we could still see and text each other but NO STRINGS ATTACHED. It pains me to feel like crap. I hate feeling like need to beg for his attention everyday. It pains me to know he went out with his friends and i'm left out..
    Pls help me what to do!! I've been crying everyday coz i want this pain to go away! I want him but it's killing me! Pls help!!
    Great advice here from members and I want to add a bit of my own. I understand your heartbreak as you seemed to be mislead by this man. He seemed so into the relationship in such a sudden way and then changed his mind. He did tell you that he had a bad LDR breakup and can't/won't have another one, whether that's true or not, you have to take him at his word.

    One thing about relationships that seem to take off so quickly, they can be suspect and the best thing to do is take it slowly no matter what you are told, especially if someone is charismatic like this fellow seems. YOU are in control of that, and if someone pushes you into something, that's not good either. All I can say is that your crying time will ease and you will learn a valuable lesson from this, as we all do from those who have hurt us the most. As the saying truly says "these lessons are our best teachers".

    Please don't beg for his attention, it will do nothing but will make you seem needy to him. You are too good for that! Just keep coming back, sharing what you need to, and we will help you by giving you a caring shoulder to lean on.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,523

    Re: I'm confused, stress and needing some help!!

    Great advice given. You are way too valuable a person to spend your time on someone who is not in the relationship 100%. You deserve nothing less.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. New here and needing a mentor
    By Lisastanley in forum Welcome to Lifesupporters
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-11-2010, 01:44 PM
  2. new and confused
    By 1harley in forum Separation and Divorce
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-15-2008, 10:54 PM
  3. Confused.
    By wolvesjr34 in forum Marriage, Dating
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-11-2008, 06:59 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •