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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    76

    Can you be too nice?

    After years of being single I've got back into the dating game, if rather grudgingly. Met someone online and she was well quite frankly amazing . Dated for a couple of months seeing each other a couple of times a week and texting back and forth.

    Unfortunately I got the " your the most lovely bloke in the world but there's no spark " talk last week.

    She texted me the following day as well saying how lovely I was and wants to be friends .

    Now I can understand some of it as I was very nervous with it being my first even short relationship in a long while but from what I can make out it was because I was too nice / polite / gentlemanly .

    Whilst it was only short and not going to kill me breaking up with her I am gutted because she was great.

    Is it possible to be too nice?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,811

    Re: Can you be too nice?

    I don't think nice really has anything to do with it to be honest. I've seen people who weren't in Love fall in Love and I'm sure there was no "spark" there either, maybe just a weak puff of smoke.

    It could just be that you're not her type for whatever reason and that's all I'd really take from this breakup.

    I wouldn't start judging yourself too much until a pattern has developed, then you may want to focus on whatever it is that's making the same thing happen over and over.

    For now I would just move on personally.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    3

    Re: Can you be too nice?

    It could be that she does not know what she wants yet. Is she young?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    76

    Re: Can you be too nice?

    No older than me by a couple of years ( 41)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    3

    Re: Can you be too nice?

    She could just be looking for some excitement. I'm not sure. It is possible of being to nice. But without knowing some personal details about her, its a bit hard to tell. I would move on like Duke mentioned.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,378

    Re: Can you be too nice?

    If your niceness comes from being totally sincere, the world could use a lot more people like you, RFTA. Continue to be who you are and don't change for anyone. As long as you are true to yourself and accept who you are, you will find and have who and what you need, IMHO.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


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