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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Canada
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    5,997

    Marital Separation

    Hi All...I haven't posted in here in forever it seems, although I would come in once in awhile and read some posts..I feel good knowing that I can come here to talk about things and this place is still available! WTG Duke!

    well, it was mine and my husband's 19th wedding anniversary yesterday and it went by with no happy anniversary wishes. We've been together for a total of 25 years this year and have decided to separate.

    I know that the question would be why after all these years? well, the reason would be that we do love eachother but haven't been in love for some time now. we stayed together in the past for the kids and since that didn't pan out too well, we've decided to split up regardless of raising our granddaughter.

    staying together for the kids is never a good idea. we know that now so we don't want to make that same mistake with erika. we solidified the decision on friday.

    it is a friendly separation as we don't hate eachother and there is no fighting; in fact, we're getting along way better now then we have been in years. he hasn't left yet and that's ok. we haven't told erika yet and not sure when we will be telling her since her 10th birthday is coming up in november. our kids don't know yet either..only some close friends and my family members know.

    i have never really been alone in my life. this will be my first time. starting over at 50 yrs old is something i thought i would never have to do but, i am ready to do it. i feel good about it actually. i am sad that it ended and more worried about breaking his heart then my own but happy at the same time. does that make any sense at all?

    i am actually looking forward to what my future holds!
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,415

    Re: Marital Separation

    Hi Star, I've missed seeing you here but understand!

    You sound very strong and decisive, and that's always a good thing! Wishing you both the BEST going forward! Kudos to both of you for parting as friends and keeping it civil, very inspiring!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Canada
    Posts
    5,997

    Re: Marital Separation

    Might as well update this thread too!!

    After being separated for 3 years or so, we're back together stronger and happier then ever! While we were separated, we worked on ourselves and each other. Love will always win!

    for us, separating was the best thing we ever did. It made us focus on the "US" that we thought was lost.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    The Cloud of Unknowing
    Posts
    17,293

    Re: Marital Separation

    Glad to hear that the two of you have been able to work things out. Knowing what you have been through, that this happened is not strange at all (I mean, it can't have been easy on either of you having to live through all you have gone through).

    Congrats!
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,571

    Re: Marital Separation

    Hi Star, having read your posts I find it inspirational that you both chose to take the path you did and that you are now stronger than ever. Having 'left' my first husband I always knew it was because we stopped being a couple. So happy to see that for you both 'Love conquers all'

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Canada
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    5,997

    Re: Marital Separation

    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie Sanchez View Post
    Hi Star, having read your posts I find it inspirational that you both chose to take the path you did and that you are now stronger than ever. Having 'left' my first husband I always knew it was because we stopped being a couple. So happy to see that for you both 'Love conquers all'
    thanks! ��
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,811

    Re: Marital Separation

    Darnit, I was hoping to get my hooks in you Star.

    Always the Bridesmaid never the Bride.

    err, I mean congratulations
    My Daughter Rules!

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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Canada
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    Re: Marital Separation

    you're sweet! thanks Duke
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,415

    Re: Marital Separation

    Quote Originally Posted by Star View Post
    Might as well update this thread too!!

    After being separated for 3 years or so, we're back together stronger and happier then ever! While we were separated, we worked on ourselves and each other. Love will always win!

    for us, separating was the best thing we ever did. It made us focus on the "US" that we thought was lost.

    That is SO awesome and very inspiring, a relationship meant-to-be also takes work to achieve the 'meant-to-be- is that makes sense.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    whos getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,997

    Re: Marital Separation

    makes perfect sense!!
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

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