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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2

    I'm supporting my parents & need someone to talk to

    I'm a 25 y.o single woman. I work hard and live with my parents so I can support them financially. They hate it, because they feel their child shouldn't be responcible for them, but at the same time - we have no choice because they have HUGE old loans that need to be paid.

    It's always paycheck to paycheck, always buying second-hand clothes, always bargain-hunting. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of seeing them struggle. I'm also tired of not being able to enjoy the money I make - but it feels wrong to splurge on a vacation for myself when they haven't been on a proper one for years.

    Honestly, I am making plans for starting a business of my own and making more money so I can make them somewhat independent from their stupid slave jobs. But it's not easy and it takes time... and ever so often I get really down in the pits. They deserve something better and to be relaxed in their old age. I also deserve to have fun in my best years. I don't even know what to ask in this thread, I just need to talk to someone cause I'm really depressed about it...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Posts
    26,558

    Re: I'm supporting my parents & need someone to talk to

    Welcome to Lifesupporters, TigerLily, you have come to a good place to find understanding and the safety to share your feelings.

    First of all, your parents must be very proud of you as you are doing a great deal for them as a caring and loving daughter.

    My first thought is: Is it possible to put aside some of your earnings for yourself while helping your parents just a little less?

    It's also not fair, IMHO, to not let yourself go on a vacation, even if it's a mini one just to get away for a few days. I don't want to appear rude or hurtful to your parents but we all make our own choices in life, and our children shouldn't end up paying for them. You are young once, and deserve Joy in your life.

    I would suggest sitting down with your parents and just talking about everything openly, honestly and with gentleness, which goes a long way. They probably feel totally guilty for all that you are doing for them as well. If you do this, please post and let us know how it's going as I'm sure your journey will help others who may be in a similar position.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,811

    Re: I'm supporting my parents & need someone to talk to

    You know TigerLily I think you should take from this that you're a truly caring person for doing this for your folks. If it were my parents I'd have sold their bodies to Science Fiction years ago or perhaps taken them on a boat tour at the top of Niagra Falls

    Actually I wouldn't do that to my Parents but my point is there are a lot of kids who just wouldn't care about their Parents welfare.

    I know it doesn't help you feel better about the finances but money comes and goes, blood is forever.

    Btw, I have thousands of posts that make little to no sense or are clearly venting cleverly hidden within a topic title. That's one of the reasons we're here so don't feel there needs to be a solid point as logic and emotion rarely go together anyway.

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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2

    Re: I'm supporting my parents & need someone to talk to

    Quote Originally Posted by Luba View Post
    Welcome to Lifesupporters, TigerLily, you have come to a good place to find understanding and the safety to share your feelings.

    First of all, your parents must be very proud of you as you are doing a great deal for them as a caring and loving daughter.

    My first thought is: Is it possible to put aside some of your earnings for yourself while helping your parents just a little less?

    It's also not fair, IMHO, to not let yourself go on a vacation, even if it's a mini one just to get away for a few days. I don't want to appear rude or hurtful to your parents but we all make our own choices in life, and our children shouldn't end up paying for them. You are young once, and deserve Joy in your life.

    I would suggest sitting down with your parents and just talking about everything openly, honestly and with gentleness, which goes a long way. They probably feel totally guilty for all that you are doing for them as well. If you do this, please post and let us know how it's going as I'm sure your journey will help others who may be in a similar position.
    Thank you for the kind words! I can totally talk to my mum about it and I can put some money aside for a vacation. But I still feel guilty about it - partially because of my dad who is a total drama queen and likes to make people feel guilty in general. Like, if I go on a vacation he will be like "I'm so happy for you, since I can't afford to go on a vacation it's better that at least you do", etc. My mom is his total opposite and tells me not to listen to him but after all those years he still gets to me


    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    You know TigerLily I think you should take from this that you're a truly caring person for doing this for your folks. If it were my parents I'd have sold their bodies to Science Fiction years ago or perhaps taken them on a boat tour at the top of Niagra Falls

    Actually I wouldn't do that to my Parents but my point is there are a lot of kids who just wouldn't care about their Parents welfare.

    I know it doesn't help you feel better about the finances but money comes and goes, blood is forever.

    Btw, I have thousands of posts that make little to no sense or are clearly venting cleverly hidden within a topic title. That's one of the reasons we're here so don't feel there needs to be a solid point as logic and emotion rarely go together anyway.

    Welcome to Lifesupporters.com.
    Thanks! You made me laugh and I really wanted to vent Yes, blood is forever and I'll try to keep this in mind when it gets to me.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,589

    Re: I'm supporting my parents & need someone to talk to

    Hi TigerLily

    I think the posts that Luba and Duke have done say it all (maybe not the bit about selling Duke's parent for scientific studies though, although I do recommend Niagara ).

    You are to be applauded for doing what you are for your parents when so many young adults have become self-centred and selfish.

    I think you more than deserve a break. It will give you chance to recharge, be the young person you are, to have some fun and allow you the distance needed to view how you to plan the future more clearly, especially as you say you are looking for that long term solution of your own business.

    I can only say that when one parent is less receptive to things than the other it can usually be attributed to their own pride being dented - after all, they are the parent and you the child.

    Lifesupporters if a fabulous place to post and the thoughts and advice given by these lovely people can give you a view of things from a different perspective that you had not thought of and help you to feel more in control.

    I think you are a remarkable woman and life is yet to bring you many things, starting today with me giving you ........ applause & hugs .... just for being you.

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