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  1. #1
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    Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Days?

    I watched a movie yesterday and I wanted to start a topic about it and, hopefully, a lot of discussion.

    It seems that the women in the movie got out of an abusive relationship/marriage, had a child or children, met a man, and within a few weeks/months were either married or in what they thought was a deep and loving relationship. The consequences were terrible for each woman and that was just a movie. In real life, though, does that actually happen as much as it seems? If so, why do you think that men and/or women are in such a hurry to get into a relationship without knowing as much as they can about a person?

    Please feel free to voice your thoughts and add more ideas as well.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  2. #2
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    HI

    It's sort of hard for me to answer because I only had a couple of short term relationships and then i met my Wife when i was 18. We lived defacto for 4 years and have now been marrid for 34 years (I Think lol)

    I guess some people are just desperate for love and at the first hint of romance they fall head over heels and dont realise that it takes a lot of time to know a person and decide if he or she is really suited for you.

    I could not imagine being married to anyone else, i could not even dream going out looking for a woman if we divorced or she died....i guess it could happen but i dont think i would ever remarry or have a defacto wife again.

    It is distressing how many people get married these dates and then divorce, almost 50% i believe. Marriage has always been to me something that is permanent and something that doesnt end until one person dies. having said that, perhaps i am just lucky that i found the perfect partner first up? Or is perhaps we have worked harder to keep the relationship going, to get past the many issues we have endured, which includes 4 misscarriages, a still birth, a son that died after 24hrs and a daughter that only lived for 5 weeks and never left the hospital.

    We have had some great times but oh my God, we have endured some bad times. At age 41 my company went bankrupt, i lost 2 houses and everything and every cent I had. I went from working hard as a Company Director in a very nice home to now renting a low level, yet comfy home. Between the embarrassment, the extreme sadness of failure and the earth shattering loss of the house, the home, the place that we had so many memories.....i knew i always had my Wifes full support, sad as she may be. Never winged, never complained, never laid the blame on me......

    I guess i was lucky and i guess i still am, so i know that until the day we die, we will be a couple, one of the very few long term marriages that are happening these days But sadly i dont think i have actually answered your question because i truly do not know

  3. #3
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    Reading your beautiful, heartfelt reply, Snooks, tears came and are still here as I reply! Not only have you replied to my thread, you added such heart-touching warmth and love, that I hope many people read it and realize that there are relationships that make it through all the times that life throws at us in our lifetimes. That because of your post, someone who reads it, may be on the point of breaking up, but realize that there could be one more try to make it work. Many times that is all it takes, just one more step, just one more try, just one more way at looking at your partner's side of things. Instead of trying to share one's own point of view to try and be right, to just open up one's heart and try to understand what the partner feels. It's not hard to do, but to reach out, even if it's a hug to start, to feel one's partner's breath on one's cheek, and it's beautiful.

    My husband and I have been through many trials and tribulations in our marriage, even times when it seemed that all could be lost in our relationship in our younger years. It wasn't easy at times as we both came from difficult childhoods, but we grew from that and learned, even though the learning didn't come quickly. A slow and ongoing process though, that did have gifts through the learning that may not have came to our understanding of it at the time. Now we laugh everyday and realize that even dark humour helps when needed. We are kind to each other, and understanding of each other is easier and even easier to identify. Anything worth having, especially a relationship, takes work and understanding especially, and then the love that was there at the start, just builds up to such beauty that it's like heaven on earth. Everyone benefits because then it is spread out to children, to grandchildren, to relatives, friends, and others, too.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  4. #4
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    I want to add to this thread the fact that quite a few relationships do not work out no matter what you, yourself, do. The truth is that BOTH people have to make it work and it does take work when things just aren't going well.

    We would like to hear from those whose relationships didn't work out, what you would have done differently to maintain it, or realize that it just wasn't going to happen no matter what.

    I think this thread could help those who come to Lifesupporters and may help with their own ideas about a relationship, especially if it's embarking on a new one rather quickly.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  5. #5
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    Both wonderful posts Luba/Snooks, enligtening and heartfelt.

    I consider myself a very lucky "second wife" and I tell him every day that he is a very lucky "second husband" LOL.

    We both went through many trials and challenges in our first marriages, neither one of us wanting to give up. We both said that the first year in those marriages was the hardest. You go from being an independant person to having to be accountable to and for someone else. If, like you Luba & Snooks, you find your soulmate then it works itself out, with care, love and respect. If not it can develop into a battlefield, conflict, pain and hurt.

    We watch the youngsters and we have one who seems to find joy in switching "relationships" almost as much as their shoes, whilst the other took a long time to find that someone special and we can see they are there for the long haul.

    People are searching for what I call the "Unicorn Marriage" that all encompassing, movie style, rich easy life kind of marriage which I believe is impossible.

    Marriage needs work, needs feeding with love, attention, respect, laughter, joy, hurt, arguements, surprises, loyalty, understanding ........... I could go on and on but you get the drift.

    Like both of you Luba/Snooks I would be lost without my hubby, the right side to my left.

  6. #6
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    Beautiful and heart-touching post, Rosie, as your posts ALWAYS are!

    Sometimes I wonder how my loving marriage turned out as we both came from difficult childhoods with no one really there to teach us anything. I believe it was my Faith that happened when I was just a kid that started it all and never left me even in the most difficult times. My husband did his own beautiful part, too, that is such a Joy to me!

    For me, it was studying other loving couples, four amazing couples actually, who opened my eyes that a marriage can be filled with Joy, Trust, Love, Understanding, Respect, Admiration, and experiencing more Laughter as the years go by! Also honouring each other every day in some way that becomes such a natural part of the day, like breathing. LOVE that! Also reading many, many great books, too.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  7. #7
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    Quote Originally Posted by Luba View Post
    Beautiful and heart-touching post, Rosie, as your posts ALWAYS are!

    Sometimes I wonder how my loving marriage turned out as we both came from difficult childhoods with no one really there to teach us anything. I believe it was my Faith that happened when I was just a kid that started it all and never left me even in the most difficult times. My husband did his own beautiful part, too, that is such a Joy to me!

    For me, it was studying other loving couples, four amazing couples actually, who opened my eyes that a marriage can be filled with Joy, Trust, Love, Understanding, Respect, Admiration, and experiencing more Laughter as the years go by! Also honouring each other every day in some way that becomes such a natural part of the day, like breathing. LOVE that! Also reading many, many great books, too.
    For me it was my maternal grandparents. I am my grandmother & I am married to my grandfather so consider myself so lucky

  8. #8
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    Re: Do Men/Women Get Into Relationships Too Quickly These Da

    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie Sanchez View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Luba View Post
    Beautiful and heart-touching post, Rosie, as your posts ALWAYS are!

    Sometimes I wonder how my loving marriage turned out as we both came from difficult childhoods with no one really there to teach us anything. I believe it was my Faith that happened when I was just a kid that started it all and never left me even in the most difficult times. My husband did his own beautiful part, too, that is such a Joy to me!

    For me, it was studying other loving couples, four amazing couples actually, who opened my eyes that a marriage can be filled with Joy, Trust, Love, Understanding, Respect, Admiration, and experiencing more Laughter as the years go by! Also honouring each other every day in some way that becomes such a natural part of the day, like breathing. LOVE that! Also reading many, many great books, too.
    For me it was my maternal grandparents. I am my grandmother & I am married to my grandfather so consider myself so lucky
    I wish I had known my three grandparents or more information about them.
    I only saw one a few times and, because of the gossip about her as a kid (which I now think differently about) I was frightened of her. If I knew more then and understood people more then, I would have definitely tried to sidle up to her more and listen to her more.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


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