Can Anger Be Expressed in a Kind, Loving Way?

**Luba** · 03-13-2016, 12:17 PM

I think it can if anger isn't swiftly shown or worded, even taking moments to cool off.

Thoughts?

**Rosie Sanchez** · 03-13-2016, 03:27 PM

It takes a great strength of character to be able to express anger without it becoming a full blown fight involving ego's and the need to have the last word.

I've had to learn to take a step back when confronted with issues created by the children in the past. I've "bit my lip and counted to ten" (old school but worth doing) before passing judgement and it has resulted in my giving a better response than the kneejerk one created by an angry moment.

It's absolutely not easy to do and I have failed many times but for those successful moments it has resulted in an ease of tension quicker and a 'fair' response given and, ultimately, less resentment of the youngsters. "It's not fair", "You don't listen", "It wasn't me" (sound familiar lol)

**Luba** · 07-02-2016, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by Rosie Sanchez

It takes a great strength of character to be able to express anger without it becoming a full blown fight involving ego's and the need to have the last word.

I've had to learn to take a step back when confronted with issues created by the children in the past. I've "bit my lip and counted to ten" (old school but worth doing) before passing judgement and it has resulted in my giving a better response than the kneejerk one created by an angry moment.

It's absolutely not easy to do and I have failed many times but for those successful moments it has resulted in an ease of tension quicker and a 'fair' response given and, ultimately, less resentment of the youngsters. "It's not fair", "You don't listen", "It wasn't me" (sound familiar lol)

I love your reply, Rosie, as I, too, believe it takes a strong character with non-confrontational ways as well, to express anger in a healthy way.

As I work through my anxiety, blood pressure issues the words from my doctor keep returning "It's okay to be angry" after she asked to hear my life story. Since her words keep returning at odd times when I seem to feel at peace, there HAS to be some message there that I REALLY need to look at. Now I'm trying to find a way to deal with the anger as well as not elevating my BP at the same time. Is that even possible?