Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    6

    Loyalty among friends

    I may sound crazy but this is something that I expect from my friends. I'm considering cutting off my best friend of 3 yrs over this. We became friends when we started college. In the initial few months we were friends with another girl also. But we stopped talking to her once we came to know of her character. She was cheating on her husband here and used to lie to us and lie about us. I got into a huge fight with her and stopped talking to her. My friend continued to be her acquaintance. She knew that I didn't like her friendship with her yet she continued to speak to her. After a while I didn't bother with it. She used to keep bitching about that girl to me and at the same time smile and talk sweetly to her. This bothered me but I kept it to myself. I felt that as my friend she should be loyal to me. Going around behind my back and talking is a hurtful thing.
    Anyways years went by and this girl became just an acquaintance. We finished our exams and I flunked them and both of them passed. Because of this I couldn't attend my graduation. My friend had relocated and through that time we were in touch every day. I even went to visit her for her birthday. But how she repays me is by celebrating her graduation with the person she bitched so much to me. Both of them taking photos and putting them up on social media. If I were there she wouldn't have done that.
    Now this has made me question my entire friendship with her. Were the 3 yrs a lie? She knows that this would hurt me immensely and she still went ahead and did it. I feel she was never honest with me. She could have just been her friend from the beginning, then I would not have been her friend. Now I feel I have wasted 3 yrs nurturing something that wasn't there. I wonder to whom she has bitched about me all these years. I'm extremely hurt by her behavior and at a loss for words. I feel that I shouldn't continue this charade of a friendship. Loyalty is very important to me and I feel that she has betrayed me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,811

    Re: Loyalty among friends

    If she's a good friend of yours you should be able to discuss this with her, in fact, you should be able to discuss just about anything with her.

    If you feel you cannot discuss this with her then she was never truly a good friend.
    My Daughter Rules!

    Band of Others: Are you a Gamer looking for a home, look no more bro!

    Ofear.com: Confronting fears, phobias, and panic attacks, in a friendly online community.

    Movie Talk: Like discussing movies, tv and streaming media, well so do we.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    6

    Re: Loyalty among friends

    Thank u duke,
    There is not point in discussing this with her. She clearly knows how I feel about this. And she still went ahead and did it. Its not just that. When someone can take pictures and smile and cuddle up to people they badmouth about I wonder what they would do to people they call friends. Is it really worth to ignore this and trust that person. I feel bad cuz she knows so much of my life and secrets. I wonder how many people she has gone to and badmouthed me . I think its time to let her go. I'd rather lose someone like her than keep her in my life second guessing everything. Its just not worth it. I have enough on my plate to be worried about people like her. It just speaks to her character and the fact that am a poor judge of it as always .

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Under your bed.
    Posts
    27,811

    Re: Loyalty among friends

    I once had a person in my life whom I thought was a good friend. We did a lot of stuff together as we had similar interests; camping, fishing, and the great outdoors.

    He was a bit introverted compared to me so I'd have to sort of walk him through it whenever we were part of a larger group; usually other friends of mine.

    Over time I'd hear him bitch about certain people some of whom I thought were friends of his as well. I just wrote it off as simple venting or perhaps having a bad day and forgot about it.

    It continued on like this for a few years when I accidentally overheard him saying the same sh1t about me to someone else. He had no idea I was there and honestly I didn't make a sound as I wanted to hear all of it.

    Suffice to say, he and I are no longer friends and haven't been since that day. I distanced myself from him as he had betrayed my trust (I'd never spoken poorly of him).

    So in the end the lesson learned was if they bitch about everyone then the chances are they bitch about you too.

    In my experience a friend may actually make you feel poorly now and again but that happens in every single relationship. The difference with friends is they'll quickly realize something is off and try to communicate with you and immediately rectify the situation.

    Anyone who does not care about your well-being is no friend at all.
    My Daughter Rules!

    Band of Others: Are you a Gamer looking for a home, look no more bro!

    Ofear.com: Confronting fears, phobias, and panic attacks, in a friendly online community.

    Movie Talk: Like discussing movies, tv and streaming media, well so do we.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Just Friends
    By CCC in forum Marriage, Dating
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 08-29-2008, 06:17 PM
  2. new friends
    By darkangelism in forum Friends and Family
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-15-2006, 10:22 PM
  3. My friends
    By twinkle in forum Friends and Family
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-18-2005, 11:07 AM
  4. Friends to more then friends
    By darkangelism in forum Marriage, Dating
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 03-01-2005, 01:36 AM
  5. Tell your friends
    By Duke in forum Welcome to Lifesupporters
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-09-2004, 11:04 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •