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  1. #1
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    Responsibility when kids break the law. (Split thread)

    I agree that the parents should be held responsible for the trouble their kids cause in school. Something like this should not be a slap on the wrist kind of situation either, I'm talking more along the lines off stiff fines and community service.
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    By saying the parents should be accountable for what their kids do, do you mean the parents should be punished by law as well as the kids? Because if that's what this means, I disagree with that.

    We can't be with our kids 24/7 and watch their every move. If krystal was to do something against the law and I was going to go to jail for her actions as well, that wouldn't be fair. I know that I do my best to teach her right from wrong and I'm sure that most parents do that. The law needs to be a lot more tough on these kids that commit crimes. And, as a parents, they need to back up the law so that their kids are punished accordingly and not try to get their kids a slap on the wrist for their child instead.
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  3. #3
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    do you mean the parents should be punished by law as well as the kids?
    Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.

    Obviously, parents are not with their kids 24/7, but, by definition, parents are RESPONSIBLE for their children's behavior. Kids, by definition, are NOT responsible for their behavior, and unless SOMEONE is legally responsible, then we'd better get used to the growing volume of anarchy, one example of which Merika descibed in her original post.

    There is absolutely no reason parents should not be ticketed and fined when their children are suspended from school, or parents shouldn't be sued in civil courts for punitive damages when thier children commit criminal felonies.

  4. #4
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    Well...let's see....

    As parents, we aren't allowed to restrain our kids, spank them till it hurts, make them work till they sweat....because if we do...the school has already informed them of their civil rights and how to even 'divorce us' if they want to.

    Perhaps if the government and the system would get out of the parent's business.....they wouldn't be so frustrated having to deal with the little spits all day.

    Think of it this way....if your 15 year old walks out of your house cussing and slamming the door while informing you that they are going somewhere you didn't give permission for or moving out..... EXACTLY WHAT is a parent going to do without getting arrested for it?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samson
    do you mean the parents should be punished by law as well as the kids?
    Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.

    Obviously, parents are not with their kids 24/7, but, by definition, parents are RESPONSIBLE for their children's behavior. Kids, by definition, are NOT responsible for their behavior, and unless SOMEONE is legally responsible, then we'd better get used to the growing volume of anarchy, one example of which Merika descibed in her original post.

    There is absolutely no reason parents should not be ticketed and fined when their children are suspended from school, or parents shouldn't be sued in civil courts for punitive damages when thier children commit criminal felonies.
    I'm sorry but THAT is the most rediculous thing I've heard in my entire life!!!! You mean to tell me that I should be going to jail or getting fined because my daughter CHOOSES to do bad things? That's rediculous! How in the world can I have control over what she does when she's out of sight? You obviously don't have any teenagers in your house yet. when you do, you'll know exactly where I'm coming from.

    Us parents are NOT responsible for the actions of our children; the CHILDREN are. They're the ones committing the crimes, not us. We've taught them right from wrong and it gets to a point where they make their own decisions and mistakes that are out of our control. We cannot control kids when they reach a certain age.

    Do YOU remember being a kid? I do and I can tell you that my parents couldn't of done anything to stop me from making the mistakes that I did. Should they've been punished for MY mistakes? NO!! I'm the one who should be punished so that I can learn from MY mistakes.

    That theory makes no sense.
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  6. #6
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    I meant fines for the parents and community service for the kids. I also think that a slap on the wrist for something like this is pathetic but it's usually what happens.
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    I think kids who get in trouble....should at least have to do 4 weekends in juvenile jail. This would alleviate the cost of having to educate them while in jail. Should the parents have to go in on the cost (here it is $5 a day....they could charge more) while their kid is in there? Possibly so....that's fair enough.

    I would've hated to see Sn00py have to go to jail for 4 weekends....but truthfully, for what he did, he deserved it.

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    I disagree. Kids need to learn their lessons and they need to learn that there are severe consequences to their actions. how will they learn anything if all they get is a slap on the wrist or the parent is the one who has to do the time for what they've done? they won't learn a thing and they'll grow up to be dilinquent adults.

    The law needs to change. the law needs to be more severe on these trouble making kids. Charging the parents with a fine or jail time isn't going to solve the problem with these kids at all; it will make them worse because they've gotten a slap on the wrist and the parents are the ones who get to suffer even more. that's unfair.

    If this was a kid who caused this prank, then the KID is the one who should be severely punished. There should be juvenile jail time for that kid. The parents didn't tell the kid to make that call (or I would hope not anyhow) so why should the parent be held responsible? The kid did something that needs to have consequences put on the kid.

    Now if a kid destroys property that doesn't belong to him, then I do agree that the parents need to replace or repair whatever it was the kid destroyed. Up until the kid reaches a certain age of course. I always replaced whatever my kids broke that belonged to someone else and I would make my kids do extra chores to repay the debt to us. That is the right thing to do but to send a parent to jail or slap them with a heavy fine for a crime their kid committed isn't fair. kids need to feel the consequences and face their punishments.
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  9. #9
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    The problem is that kids often don't suffer the consequences for these crimes.
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    UPDATE on the original story:

    Isis said they offered $100 bucks over the intercom this morning to anyone having information on who made the calls. Sure enough....the boy who had 'dared' his friend to do it came forward. Both boys are freshman...9th grade. The boy called from his pre-paid cell phone from the school cafeteria. Isis doesn't know either one of them personally.

    Considering one of the calls were actually made to the Sheriff's Department....I suspect there will be some serious consequences. I can only imagine how embarassed his parents must be. It was a prank and stupid......but I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

    Like Star said....if you aren't with them....you can't control the choices they make.

  11. #11
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    Stupid kids.

    Throw the book at the little buggers I say. Sorry but this is ridiculous and stupid and they need to be made aware of it.
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  12. #12
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    I agree. Those kids need to know the seriousness of their prank. I really do hope that the law will step in and make them examples. They need to severely be punished for this. I can imagine how the parents must feel. I would be grounding my kid until the end of time for pulling something like this. There would be no fun at all for a very long time.
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  13. #13
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    These days the law is so soft it should almost be held accountable as a reason for criminal activity among adolescents.
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  14. #14
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    you're absolutely right. I do blame the law for all the adolecsent crimes. They are way too soft on the kids. they usually just get a lecture from the judge. as if that's going to do anything!
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    IT's about the stuff kids are made of. The good or bad material (raw, I mean). How can a family have 2 kids raised the same way, one who's good and another one who's always in trouble?

    Supposing that parents do attend their children's need and education, the rest of it... it's just a matter of what the kid is ABLE to make of it. If he cannot resist pressure from the group, he/she will do terrible things. A few days a ago, a little girl - in school, I guess, was with her friends on a train station. Apparently her "friends" dared her to cross the railway, telling her no train was coming. Well, no train was coming, allright!!!! She got her les slashed by TGV (Train de grande vitesse - high speed train).


    Who's fault is it? You know parents ALWAYS always tell kids not to cross the railway. Parents ALWAYS tell kids not to steel. Parents ALWAYS tell kids not to do DRUGS. Yet not all crimes are made by kids coming from low life subburbs. Even there... the truth is, parents needn't protect their kids so much. Because as much as we hate to admit it, they do have a choice. And parents can rarely have a say about that. It's up to the kid. It's up to the kid to study, it's up to the kid to listen to the parents, it' up to the kid to actually have a good life.


    PArents cannot make a child do things forever. Sooner or later their authority ceases and then the real hard time beggins. The only responsability parents have is to make their kids LISTEN. They need to listen and then decide which way to go.

  16. #16
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    Us parents are NOT responsible for the actions of our children
    You see, here is the root cause of most if not all societal problems:

    Parents that don't hold themselves accountable.

    Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but time to wake up: Parents ARE responsible for the activities of kids until they are legally adults (18 in most states). Merika, you cannot abuse kids (at least, you cannot create evidance of abuse). And yes star, you cannot lock them up in the attic, or chain them to the bed, but if they do leave your property without your consent, it can be reported and documented so that you will be protected against civil and legal action.

    Certainly, throwing up your hands and claiming that you have no responsibility for the wayward actions of a teenager is "ridiculous."

    Regardless, here, fighting in secondary school carries an automatic $500.00 fine, that the parents must pay, not the kids. Unsurprisingly, parents become extraordinarily interested in the workings of the school system and their children's behavior before, BUT ESPECIALLY AFTER, being fined.

    There are few repeat offenders.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merika
    Well...let's see....

    As parents, we aren't allowed to restrain our kids, spank them till it hurts, make them work till they sweat....because if we do...the school has already informed them of their civil rights and how to even 'divorce us' if they want to.

    Perhaps if the government and the system would get out of the parent's business.....they wouldn't be so frustrated having to deal with the little spits all day.

    Think of it this way....if your 15 year old walks out of your house cussing and slamming the door while informing you that they are going somewhere you didn't give permission for or moving out..... EXACTLY WHAT is a parent going to do without getting arrested for it?
    I'll stick to my original post.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samson
    Us parents are NOT responsible for the actions of our children
    You see, here is the root cause of most if not all societal problems:

    Parents that don't hold themselves accountable.

    Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but time to wake up: Parents ARE responsible for the activities of kids until they are legally adults (18 in most states). Merika, you cannot abuse kids (at least, you cannot create evidance of abuse). And yes star, you cannot lock them up in the attic, or chain them to the bed, but if they do leave your property without your consent, it can be reported and documented so that you will be protected against civil and legal action.

    Certainly, throwing up your hands and claiming that you have no responsibility for the wayward actions of a teenager is "ridiculous."

    Regardless, here, fighting in secondary school carries an automatic $500.00 fine, that the parents must pay, not the kids. Unsurprisingly, parents become extraordinarily interested in the workings of the school system and their children's behavior before, BUT ESPECIALLY AFTER, being fined.

    There are few repeat offenders.
    the LAW is the one who should hold itself accountable, not the parents. the parents do their best to raise their children right and once out of sight, parents have NO control. I'm sorry but I disagree with your logic and will never agree to it because it is so rediculous to me and most parents of teenagers or older kids out there.

    First of all, things don't work that way in Canada and I'm very happy that they don't because it makes no sense. My complaint is the youth laws. they aren't strict enough so how can our kids learn that there are consequences for their actions legally? They don't. that's the root of the problem right there!

    Twinkle, I have no idea how one can raise 2 kids and both are so different. I have raised both my daughters the same and my oldest is the troubled one; my youngest is a dream. I think it has to do with peer pressure myself.

    This is a debate that I think we can all agree to disagree on. Nobody really knows what goes into trying to help a troubled teen better then the parents who have one. There is only so much you can do legally and as a parent. Period.
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  19. #19
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    Star....I agree. I also think that until someone has walked in your shoes....no one has a CLUE to how impossible it is to control a child with an agenda of their own.

    When Sn00py got trouble.....he came by where I was (at Alkali's) asking me to watch the dog because he was going to go play basketball with his friend (who was with him). Ofcourse, I said yes. They didn't go play basketball...they went to rob the elementary school. I had NO WAY of knowing that. For the suggestion to be made that I'm personally accountable....seems a little ludicrous at best.

    A couple of years ago....I was at work and my daughter decided to skip school....for a MONTH! She got the mail....so I never saw the letters from the school. No one called me......I simply didn't know until she got picked up from the truency officer. Again, why should I be fined or jailed for that? Once I knew.....I called the school daily to make sure she was there.....but I didn't think of doing that while I had no clue she was skipping.

  20. #20
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    exactly! why should we be fined or sent to jail for things the kids do. we can't and never can control what they do when they're out of sight. It's easy for people to "blame the parent" when they see a kid doing bad things. but truth is, that in most cases, it's not starting from home like mine and your case. It's all from outside the home with peers. we can't blamed for that! that's rediculous and absurd!

    and you are right. nobody has any clue what's it's like to have a kid who gets into trouble or is out of control and you're a good parent who raised them with proper morals and values teaching them right from wrong. I don't wish this on anyone it's that heartbreaking.
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    It's funny because I look back to when my oldest son was a teen. He was such a perfect kid. He never got in trouble or caused anyone any grief. Therefore, I thought I was friggin Mother Goose and I taught 'parent-child' relationship classes at the church. SURELY....those parents had problems because they weren't AS GOOD AT IT....as I was. LOL!

    Then my next two came along......

    I have no idea why they are so different from their older brother....other than coming from a different gene pool. HAHA! Boy did I have to eat my previous words and thoughts.

    I think in the end, when they are all adults, all these kids will probably be just fine...even Krystal. But it sure is hard getting from Point A to Point C with them. Point B....stands for "life is a b*tch' trying to raise them.

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    Over here in BC we have a bit of a different problem, that is gangs. Many of the youth that make up these gangs are not originally from this country but are afforded all kinds of leniency when it comes to crime. We have drugs, theft, gang style murders and nothing happens so the problem only grows which is totally pathetic.

    Something tells me that if these kids were to be charged as adults and get deported (along with the parents) then our problems lessen quite dramatically. I partially agree with you star and also Merika but you are two parents who care about your childrens welfare and have done your best to raise them. All parents are simply not this way at all. Many haven't got a clue what their kids do once they leave their property, even more don't care. This is why I think fining is a good thing, because once the parent has a financial obligation toward their childs stupidity, they tend to start caring immediately.

    In other words, I agree with elements of Samsons posts but can also see where Merika and star are coming from. This is a touchy subject with no sure answers on either side from a parental standpoint. I do believe that if the law would stop being so damn soft toward kids and change the infant mentality and lack of responsibility BS until they reach the age of 18, we'd have better behaved kids. Quite simply, as a kid why would you ever be afraid of jail, it's likely it's never an issue because you have to murder someone to even get public service these days.
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    kids can murder and won't get anything more then 3 years; if that!! some only get probation for god sake! that's terrible!!

    the problem with fining parents or even sending them to jail is that the good parents suffer all the more. We suffer enough everyday forced to sit and watch our kids destroy their lives. The law doesn't allow us to do much more then that. that's not a solution, really it isn't. the solution would be to make the law way stricter then it is now and really crack down on their consequences instead of sugar coating everything.

    when i was a kid, we had reform school and juvenile jail. i didn't know too many people that ended up there; i did know a couple of them though. people were afraid of getting arested. nobody wanted to go to jail or reform school. we had a lot more respect for legal authority then the kids do now!!! why should they be afraid? they onl;y get a talking to. in one ear and out the other.

    we have a big problem with gangs too in ontario duke. The toronto area, hamilton and niagara falls are really bad with gangs. the police know where they are and who they are but they do nothing about it. The police are turning a blind eye because there isn't much they can do anyways because of the way the youth law is. They might as well not even have any youth laws; the way it is now, it's like we don't have any law for the kids anyhow.

    I know that krystal will grow out of this someday and all the things i taught her will kick in and she'll be full of regrets (that's another thing i always tell my kids...live life with no regrets so she'll hear that one too). Your kids will be fine too merika. but you're right, the B part is so frustrating and heartbreaking all at the same time and it seems like it's taking way too long to get through it!
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    Juvenile jails are expensive to run. They have to provide counselling, schooling and make sure the kids are safe.

    I think we should put more money in THIS area though....and quit worring about rehabilitating 50 year old pediphiles and murderers.....and OH GAWD...giving them online computer access! Anyway....

    You are right Duke....sometimes it IS a parental problem. Sn00py's case worker told me that she was dealing with a kid who actually took turns with his Dad running out to the road selling crack to passer-by cars. I also know of a couple of kids in our neighborhood who are Sn00py's age who sell pot for their parents. Luckily, Sn00p's is a hypochondriac....or I could easily have a drug problem to deal with also. Drugs are easily attainable by any kid.

    For those parents who have drugs in the home and allow their kids access to it....I DO believe they should go to jail. However, if a parent does not use it or have it....but their kid does.....you can't blame that parent. Same is true for liquor. I don't have it in my house, unless I plan on drinking it that same day, or my kids would have access to it. I have to take that responsibility.

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    oh I totally agree with busting the parents as well as the kid if drugs are involved and it's proven that the parents are selling it as well! that should be a given.

    but to blame ALL parents is wrong. some of us do try are best with our kids. we're being punished enough by having troubled kids that we don't need any added punishments. that would be like adding salt to the wound. not fair.

    and i also agree that more should be funded into the youth act rather then rehabilitating the preditors. rehabilitating those is a total waste of good money that could be used for rehabilitating our youth....who are our future by the way.
    Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.

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