For a Quick Laugh

[Luba]

The Officer said "You drinking?"

I said "You buying?"

We just laughed and laughed.

I need bail money!

[Luba]

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

​I didn't read that number either, I was too busy posting this joke!

[Vautrin]

I did. Really not that hard.

[Rosie Sanchez]

My name is Fin, which means it's very hard for me to end emails without sounding pretentious

[Rosie Sanchez]

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

[Vautrin]

A doctor tells a woman she can't touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

A diplomat is a man who remembers a woman's birthday, but not her age.

[Luba]

Love those jokes, Rosie and Vautrin.

Here's another one:


Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.

At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.

[Vautrin]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

[Rosie Sanchez]

I love those

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.

[Luba]

Great laughs, Rosle and Vautrin. Here's another one:

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.

[Luba]

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.I think you should write, "An ambulance."

[Vautrin]

Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

[Luba]

Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

Love that!

Here's another one:

Doctor to Patient: "Your insurance will cover the vasectomy or the anesthetic. Your call!"

[Vautrin]

And another: Home brew, which is the best.

http://lifesupporters.com/forums/threads/12257-Anyone-Ever-Had-a-Facial/

[Luba]

Minister to Aged Couple renewing their vows: "And now if you would like to repeat your vows".

Aged Man: a...e...i...o...u

[Luba]

Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

[Vautrin]

I wonder who came up with that tip.

Probably the guy who made the birds do this:

http://i.yomyomf.com/wp-content/uplo...bird_poop1.jpg

[Luba]

I wonder who came up with that tip.

Probably the guy who made the birds do this:

http://i.yomyomf.com/wp-content/uplo...bird_poop1.jpg

How on earth did I miss this post and especially the GREAT link? Maybe it was meant to be looked at early this Saturday morning to start my laughter for the weekend! Thanks, Vautrin, you are a GEM!