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  1. #1
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    For a Quick Laugh

    The Officer said "You drinking?"

    I said "You buying?"

    We just laughed and laughed.

    I need bail money!
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  2. #2
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

    ​I didn't read that number either, I was too busy posting this joke!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  3. #3
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    I did. Really not that hard.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  4. #4
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    My name is Fin, which means it's very hard for me to end emails without sounding pretentious

  5. #5
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

  6. #6
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    A doctor tells a woman she can't touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

    A diplomat is a man who remembers a woman's birthday, but not her age.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  7. #7
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    Love those jokes, Rosie and Vautrin.

    Here's another one:


    Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.

    At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  8. #8
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  9. #9
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    I love those

    I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

    I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.

  10. #10
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    Great laughs, Rosle and Vautrin. Here's another one:

    I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  11. #11
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.I think you should write, "An ambulance."
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  12. #12
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  13. #13
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    Quote Originally Posted by Vautrin View Post
    Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
    Love that!

    Here's another one:

    Doctor to Patient: "Your insurance will cover the vasectomy or the anesthetic. Your call!"

    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


  14. #14
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  15. #15
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    Re: For a Quick Laugh

    Minister to Aged Couple renewing their vows: "And now if you would like to repeat your vows".

    Aged Man: a...e...i...o...u

    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.


    True love is wanting to give to another person without any thought about
    who’s getting the better of the deal.

    Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie's man's only promise

    ~All quotes by Leo Buscaglia


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