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Thread: Dating joke

  1. #1
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    Dating joke

    Judy: I had that gorgeous man we've all been trying to date banging on my door last night for almost half an hour.
    Trudy:Why didn't you open it?
    Judy: I didn't want to let him out.


  2. #2
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    Re: Dating joke

    here's another one:

    Ed: My girlfriend's father said if I could add four plus six, I could marry his daughter. I thought real fast and said, "four plus six is eleven."
    Fred: Whew! That was close!
    Ed: That's the trouble. He said it was close enough.


  3. #3
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    Re: Dating joke

    i loved the first one a ot that ha me giggling a lot and im suppose to be sleeping!

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    Re: Dating joke

    ya i like the 2 of them lots lol

  5. #5
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    Re: Dating joke

    It's kinda funny how female humor seems to revolve around finding and/or keeping a good man (assuming one exists) yet male humor centers around disposable partners.
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  6. #6
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    Re: Dating joke

    One more difference between us
    The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to the office. (Robert Frost)

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    Re: Dating joke

    I don't get them!! lol
    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  8. #8
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    Re: Dating joke

    Wait never mind i get the first one, still don't get the second one thought
    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  9. #9
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    Re: Dating joke

    Things Not to Say on a Date


    There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date.
    • Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?
    • I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
    • No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.
    • I used to come here all the time with my ex.
    • I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
    • Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
    • I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be, I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
    • I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.
    • It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.
    lol guys don't say this to girls and vise-versa!!
    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  10. #10
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    Re: Dating joke

    Seems to me that I've used a few of those lines to get rid of a few.....

    Oh and if you set a gals hair on fire that gets rid of em pretty quickly as well.

  11. #11
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    Re: Dating joke

    Quote Originally Posted by IR_Efrem View Post
    Oh and if you set a gals hair on fire that gets rid of em pretty quickly as well.
    How many times have you resorted to that one?
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  12. #12
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    Re: Dating joke

    Dwoing, LOVE your 'things not to say on a date'!

  13. #13
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    Re: Dating joke

    lol can someone please explain to me Luba's second joke? I really don't get it!!

    K he got the question wrong but so what??
    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  14. #14
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    Re: Dating joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Dwoing View Post
    lol can someone please explain to me Luba's second joke? I really don't get it!!

    K he got the question wrong but so what??
    It just means that he was desperate to marry his daughter off because no one else wanted her I s'pose. It's kind of a redneck joke really.
    My Daughter Rules!

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  15. #15
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    Re: Dating joke

    How many times have you resorted to that one?
    Funny story behind that actually.... Needless to say it was an accident, I wouldn't do such a thing on purpose LoL

    She wasn't hurt at all btw =)

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    Re: Dating joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwoing View Post
    lol can someone please explain to me Luba's second joke? I really don't get it!!

    K he got the question wrong but so what??
    It just means that he was desperate to marry his daughter off because no one else wanted her I s'pose. It's kind of a redneck joke really.
    ohhh i get it! Thank you daddy
    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  17. #17
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    Re: Dating joke

    lol

  18. #18
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    Re: Dating joke

    paris no wonder your blonde

  19. #19
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    Re: Dating joke

    Quote Originally Posted by VachelVace View Post
    paris no wonder your blonde
    A blonde moment, VV?



    You are reversing cause and effect.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  20. #20
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    Re: Dating joke

    Common Rachel, It's not like I didn't explain them to you over the phone Trying to look cool are we? lol it's okay, at least I'm proud to be blond and I have NATURAL highlights!
    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  21. #21
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    Re: Dating joke

    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  22. #22
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    Re: Dating joke

    Remember you are unique...
    Just like everyone else...

    <3 Love your friends, <3 Love your family, <3 Love your life...

    I love Duke, Luba, Charbar, Aunty Honney and VachelVace!!! <3<3<3

  23. #23
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    Re: Dating joke

    I imagine none of the men will be speaking to me after this post, but it's hilarious and is called:
    Relationship Advice for Your Daughters

    1. Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in diapers.
    2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
    3. Never let your man's mind wander, it's too little to be out alone.
    4. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
    5. Men are all the same, they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
    6. Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
    7. Women don't make fools of men, most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
    8. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
    9. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years; even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

    ---------------------

    I wonder if I'll be banned from Lifesupporters now??

  24. #24
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    Re: Dating joke

    Introduction to woman-speak

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
    .... without you in it.

    DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
    We haven't had a fight in a while.

    NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
    .... you cheap slob!

    I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
    I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

    I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
    I can't believe you have nothing planned.

    COME HERE.
    My puppy does this, too.

    I LIKE YOU, BUT...
    I don't like you.

    YOU NEVER LISTEN.
    You never listen.

    I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
    I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

    OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
    I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.

    I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
    We're gonna make fun of you and your friends.
    The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

    Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

    The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

  25. #25
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    Re: Dating joke

    Those are just GREAT, Vautrin, So true; So true!

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