What Men Look For In a Mate

[Luba]

Gentlemen, it's your turn to respond what you look for in your partnership/marriage/mate. Women also can ask questions here if they require an answer to a post.

[Luba]

I JUST can't believe that men are not looking for special qualities in a woman!

C'mon, guys, speak UP!

[kathy]

Does it have to specify in men???

[TKDLady]

Luba already started one for what women look for in a mate. I too would like to see a man's thoughts here. Just curious.

[Vautrin]

Mostly the same things women look for.

Intelligence, integrity, similarity (in beliefs, outlook etc.).

[Luba]

Don't men look for physical attributes, too?

I'm not being unkind, but don't some men prefer good looks as opposed to learning about a good heart?

[Vautrin]

The same applies to women (and wallets). But really, who'd be interested in a partner who is with you for your looks (or wallet)?

[Luba]

The same applies to women (and wallets). But really, who'd be interested in a partner who is with you for your looks (or wallet)?

Sad but true!

[Luba]

I'm surprised that more men didn't chime in to this one.

[LovingSpirit]

I'm surprised that more men didn't chime in to this one.

Well I think their silence speaks volumes about what's important to them.

[Luba]

I'm surprised that more men didn't chime in to this one.

Well I think their silence speaks volumes about what's important to them.

I'm laughing myself silly over that Wonderful and Brilliant comment! LOVE your sense of humour, LovingSpirit!

[LovingSpirit]

[Duke]

OK I'll chime in here but I warn you all, it may look as if I'm putting down your gender when I'm not. I'm responding off a history of well over 25 relationships with varying levels of commitment, none of which worked out well.

What I want in a woman:

• I want a woman comfortable in her own skin
• I want a woman who is either average looking or above average looking
• I want my woman to be shaped like a woman
• I want my woman to dress at least somewhat feminine
• I want my woman to be able to laugh at herself
• I want my woman to bring out the best in me and help me deal with my darker sides
• I want a woman I can grow with
• I want a woman who refuses to live in the past
• I want a woman my daughter loves
• I want a woman my family loves
• I want my woman to be giving
• I do not want a materialistic woman
• I do not want a judgmental woman
• I do not want a queen, they make me physically ill

I don't need another mother, sex kitten or beauty queen. I need a woman who is grounded, realistic and willing to help carve out a happy life together.

[LovingSpirit]

Well, it's easy to see what your problem with relationships with women is........You have a pretty tall order there Duke. You might be able to get some of those things in a woman, but I'm kinda thinking it's going to be hard to get all of them.

[Duke]

I agree with you LS but my problem is that I've already had it at least once (possibly thrice) and know of another woman who fits the bill pretty much perfectly.

My biggest issue is that I've had many relationships in my life and most were at a time when I was too young and too dumb to realize what I was throwing away. Now that its gone I've realized the err of my ways but in many aspects, it may be too late for me.

Of course I'm keeping an open mind here that there may yet still be someone out there for me but I'm not killing myself looking anymore. My priorities have changed in that I'm more concerned with my daughters happiness than I am with my own. My daughter gives me more than any one person ever has and because of this I've put my energies toward her instead.

Maybe when she grows up and starts carving out her own life I'll look into finding a partner again but until then I'm pretty content where I am.

[Luba]

I believe 'when you least expect it, it will happen' and maybe even hit quite hard.

Do you believe that there is someone for everyone out there?

[TKDLady]

I believe there is more than one someone out there.

[Duke]

Do you believe that there is someone for everyone out there?

A part of me would like to but I don't know how strongly? While I do believe there is at least one person that we can all connect with as mates, I don't believe this one person is within easy reach of our daily lives.

My perfect match may be living a few doors down, a few miles away, or in another country, who knows? Is there more than one, maybe, but then again, who knows?

I think one has to remain open minded and optimistic toward it but that doesn't mean success or failure IMHO. I've done a lot of dating and haven't really seen this person that I'm aware of but who knows, maybe I already had it and let it get away? If this is the case though I'm not sure who it may have been and when?

[Vautrin]

I think what is hurting people most is the yearning for perfection. It does not exist in people (other than me ). You have to take some bad with a lot of good.

[Ecliptic]

Here's my opinion on what I look for in a woman.

To be completely honest, she needs a nice body and pretty face to catch my eye. Good looks would be necessary for me to have any attraction for a complete stranger. This wouldn't be completely true for someone that I've gotten to know over time. Here would be the other traits that would keep me interested:

1. Loyal
2. Trustworthy
3. Confident, but not arrogant
4. Passionate about life, and herself
5. Loyal
6. Intelligent
7. Someone who compliments my personality. That is, I don't want her to be exactly like me. She should be strong where I am weak and vice versa.
8. Trustworthy
9. Sense of humor
10. I agree with Duke on someone who looks to the future, and refuses to live in the past
11. Not too bubbly or smothering
12. Giving
13. Caring
14. Respectful
15. Honest
16. Did I mention Loyal?

[NoTargeT]

1. female roundings
2. err....

Frankly I go with my feelings almost 100%, there's just women that make me go feel all strange inside, it's impossible to describe the feeling, but I recognize it immediately, and for some reason it never deceived me into liking someone I wouldn't like. It's women of all shapes and sizes and sorts that made me feel this way, so i can't think of anything else then that. On long term, it's just feeling comfortable with eachother. Oh, and I also like them to have these little flaws. I thinks small flaws are very atttractive, it makes people real personalities, and it seems like love is made to forgive those kind of flaws without a second thought. Ok I'm starting to ramble I guess. Anyway, I can look at my wife and still feel that same feeling...

[Andrea]

I was looking for something very specific in a girl.

1. First and foremost!!! I needed someone easy going. Someone that makes the best of every situation. Why because life is always full of imperfect situations! so if they are not easy going you get a moana
2. I needed a woman i could treat well, i enjoy being good to people, but more importantly i needed someone that would appreciate it and treat me well in return.
3. Someone that could analyze a situation and be able to see another perspective.

THAT was all i needed. looks didn't matter. I have had many beautiful girls in my life and after 6 months if they not nice people, you dont want to be with them physically anymore anyway. The more you grow your love the better they look, to you anyway

I have been with my fiance now for 1 year and 3 months and we have never been apart we are together everyday 24/7 and we have never had a fight. We appreciate each other still and love each other more and more everyday.

[Luba]

I just want to say how much I admire your openness, frankness, and honesty to all you men who posted. I'm SO glad I bumped it up again as it really took off, and it's always great to learn about the opposite sex.

[LovingSpirit]

1. boobs
2. err....

I can't believe no one mentioned boobies... well ok, duke did kind of when he said 'shaped like a woman', I hope it's ok to say boobies

Frankly I go with my feelings almost 100%, there's just women that make me go feel all strange inside, it's impossible to describe the feeling, but I recognize it immediately, and for some reason it never deceived me into liking someone I wouldn't like. It's women of all shapes and sizes and sorts that made me feel this way, so i can't think of anything else then that. On long term, it's just feeling comfortable with eachother. Oh, and I also like them to have these little flaws. I thinks small flaws are very atttractive, it makes people real personalities, and it seems like love is made to forgive those kind of flaws without a second thought. Ok I'm starting to ramble I guess. Anyway, I can look at my wife and still feel that same feeling...

So if it's okay to say boobies then does that mean it's okay to list dick too? Comeone, give us a break. At least Duke was respectful of his remarks.

[NoTargeT]

I'm sorry if i came across as disrespectful, I edited my post accordingly. I thought I was using a toned down version of the word, but I guess my knowledge of the English language abandoned me there. Next to that I suppose I underestimated the cultural differences with the US, I hope you'll accept my apology.